After All That, Daniel Craig Is Probably Going To Play James Bond Again

October 10, 2016 / Posted by:

But before we get to that James Bond shit, let’s thank Daniel Craig for saving us from making an “Errr, bitch, what did you do?” face about that bleach job by making that face in the picture above. That Billy Idol shade makes him look like Jean Paul Gaultier on steroids, and yes, I still would.

Daniel Craig once melodramatically said in an interview that he’d rather slash his wrists than play James Bond again. But I guess Sony reportedly throwing $150 million at him has caused him to push away the razor. Because at the New York Film Festival on Friday night, Vulture said that Daniel backpedaled on his “I’d rather bleed out to death than get paid zillions of dollars to play Bond” comments.

Daniel made fun of himself for making that comment and also said that although there haven’t been any discussions, he’s willing to play Bond for a fifth time.

On that “slash my wrists” comment: They say that shit sticks, and that definitely stuck. It was the day after filming [stopped on Spectre]. I’d been away from home for a year. Boo-hoo. It’s a good gig. I enjoy it.

On playing Bond again: Everyone’s a bit tired. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve got the best job in the world. I’ll keep doing it as long as I still get a kick out of it. If I were to stop doing it, I would miss it terribly.

Let me fix that for you, Daniel: I would miss seeing all those zeros on one check terribly.

I have a feeling that Daniel Craig has never had any intention of quitting Bond, but he was playing hard to get. Sure, when I play hard to get, I end up with no dick and lonely. But when Daniel Craig plays hard to get, he ends up getting $150 million. And so this means that Tom Hiddleston probably dad danced at that Selena Gomez concert and wore that “I Heart T.S.” tank for nothing. You know, Taylor Swift is professionally in bed with Sony and Sony makes the Bond movies, so they were probably fucking with Tom Hiddleston for shits. That’s a cold cunt move, Sony, a cold cunt move, because every time Tom hears a Taylor song, he bawls while punching his ears. He forever has Post Traumatic Swift Disorder.

And here’s a Susan Powter-haired Daniel Craig signing autographs outside of the New York Film Festival:

Pics: Splash, Getty

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