And I am sure you’ll sue me for ruining your sleep with that still shot of Burke Ramsey doing an impersonation of James Haven.
At the end of CBS’ 2-part, 4-hour investigative series about the murder of 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey, the experts decided that her 9-year-old brother Burke Ramsey is probably the one who killed her. The experts all signed off on the theory that JonBenet stole a piece of pineapple from Burke and he got back at her by hitting her over the head with a heavy flashlight. They believe that John and Patsy Ramsey covered up for their son by making it look like a kidnapper murdered their daughter. Of course, Burke didn’t like being labeled as a possible child murderer and so he threatened to sue CBS. Burke hasn’t sued CBS yet, but he did file a $150 million lawsuit against Dr. Werner Spitz, one of the leading investigators in the special.
E! News says that 29-year-old Burke Ramsey’s lawsuit against the highly-esteemed German forensic pathologist is specifically for the things he said in a radio interview with CBS Detroit. During the CBS special, Dr. SpitzNotSwallowz did say that he believes Burke did it, but during an interview with CBS Detroit radio on September 19, he went a little further when he spit this out:
“If you really, really use your free time to think about this case, you cannot come to a different conclusion … It’s the boy who did it, whether he was jealous, or mentally unfit or something … I don’t know the why, I’m not a psychiatrist, but what I am sure about is what I know about him, that is what happened here.”
Burke’s lawyer L. Lin Wood filed the lawsuit in Wayne County, Michigan. The lawsuit paints Dr. Spitz as a fame whore who has a history of injecting himself into high-profile cases and making sensational accusations for attention. The lawsuit goes on to say that Dr. Spitz doesn’t know shit about shit since he never examined JonBenet’s body or consulted with the pathologist who did her autopsy.
“The accusations by Werner Spitz against this young man are outrageous. Such false accusations have no place in an orderly society. This lawsuit is the first step to holding Spitz accountable for his wrongdoing.”
Is L. Lin Wood suggesting that this shit show we call humanity is an “orderly society“? I wish I had $150 million to construct myself the same kind of bubble that he lives in.
But really, I hope if this lawsuit gets to the deposition phase, the tapes of those depos never get out. Because I am sure many of the experts in CBS’ special will be deposed and they will all say the word “panties” at least a half dozen times. In CBS’ special, the word “panties” was so said many times that at one point, I couldn’t hear due to the globs of vomit blocking my ear holes. I haven’t been that traumatized by the word “panties” since Harry Connick Jr.’s “squirrel covers” scene in Copycat. Don’t clink on that link if the word “panties” brings pain to you as much the words, “Sorry, Demi, but your latest rant isn’t trending,” brings pain to Demi Lovato.
Pic: The Dr. Phil Show