In the early aughts, Hershey’s
ran out of ideas and said fuck it decided that what the people really wanted and needed were Pringles-shaped chocolates and Swoops was born! Hershey’s Swoops looked like Pringles dipped in melted Hershey’s candy bars (they also kind of looked like wide tongues made out of shit), but they were a work of trickery! They presented themselves as chocolate-covered chips, but they were actually chip-shaped chocolates. They were that dude on Grindr who tells you that he’s got an 8.5″ girthy one, but when you pull down his chonies in person, you really get a a skinny penne-sized al dente peen. But just like Swoops, you shrugged and put it in your mouth anyway.
Apparently, one of the reasons why Swoops pretty much flopped was that people thought they were chocolate-covered Pringles. People didn’t want to eat chocolate-covered Pringles. Fast Company says that Hershey’s thought the shape would make the chocolate-gobbling experience better:
Hershey’s actually felt there was a benefit to this shape. The chip conformed to the roof of the mouth for a slow, chocolate-melt experience, if you happen to like that. But the shape also implied the way we would eat Swoops—fast and furious, like the mindless munching of potato chips. With only 6 slices to each individual container, we were left unsatisfied and wanting more.
Nobody bought what Hershey’s was selling, literally, and Swoops went away in 2006, three years after its debut. Swoops demise also probably had a lot to do with the fact that eating them was hard work! You either needed two hands or one hand and the help of a surface to eat them. Chocolate-eating shouldn’t be that hard! (Or you could just do what I did and gulp them all in one shot.) But I have a feeling that Hershey’s mainly created Swoops so that they could have a product called Swoops and use Whoomp! (There It Is) to sell it. Not a bad decision!
And here’s pictures from the days when Swoops was still alive of the legendary Bebe Neuwirth pimping them out in NYC. Bebe’s dedication to the brand is obvious thanks to her flawless brows being shaped like the profile a Swoop.