Less than a week after Lady Gaga confirmed the rumor that she’s headlining the Super Bowl halftime show next year, AT&T has made like a reverse-Zeus and yanked away her thunder by announcing that an even BIGGER star will be performing in Houston, TX on Super Bowl weekend. Sorry Gaga, but it’s the Taylor Swift Bowl now.
Earlier today, AT&T “welcomed” Taylor Swift to the AT&T team on Twitter and announced that they had signed her to an exclusive multi-year, multi-faceted deal that will include performances and content. There’s also speculation that AT&T might buy Taylor’s record label, Big Machine.
Taylor’s first order of sponsored business with AT&T will be to headline DirecTV’s 7th annual Super Saturday Night event the night before the Super Bowl. AT&T says they’re going to build Taylor a custom-made 64,000 person venue in Houston specifically for the show. Fans will be able to purchase tickets for Taylor’s special Super Bowl weekend show, but AT&T doesn’t say how much those are going to cost. My guess is: a whole fucking lot.
The New York Post has a bit more information on Taylor’s deal with AT&T from a variety of sources. One source says that Taylor has always dreamed of awkward white girl dancing across the Super Bowl halftime show stage, but that her endorsement deal with Diet Coke is a conflict of interest. Pepsi is the Super Bowl halftime show’s sugar daddy. So for right now, this is as close to Super Bowl halftime show glory as she’s going to get. And she seems somewhat happy about it?
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) October 4, 2016
Obviously Taylor is going to do everything she can to make Lady Gaga’s real Super Bowl show look like a $0-budget community center talent show. Taylor’s pre-show WILL be bigger and more American than the actual show, gosh darn it! Taylor is going to “Please welcome to the stage” the Football Ken doll known as Tom Brady and make him dance to”Shake It Off” with a giant deflated football.
I have faith that Lady Gaga can yank the attention back the following night. My fingers are crossed hoping that she pulls the lineup from the 1985 Chicago Bears on stage in nothing but silver glitter thongs for a dance remix of “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”