Weird, right? As soon as I heard that Kim Kardashian was allegedly held at gunpoint by jewel thieves in Paree, I figured that Kunty Karl would immediately drop the virgin he was feeding upon and appear in a Chanel logo-shaped white cloud before her to comfort her. I mean, KK has photographed the lesser KK before, he scribbled out a note of support for her ass and he’s always the epitome of warmth. But if Karl did have a sympathetic bone in his regal vampire body, it wouldn’t feel a thing for Kim. In the Gospel According to Kunty Karl it states that if you’re going to flaunt that luxurious life in front of the peasants, you better protect that luxurious life with the damn A-Team.
After the Chanel show at Paris Fashion Week today, Reuters (via NBC News) asked Karl about Kim getting robbed of a reported $10 million in jewels. While many are throwing a “PR stunt? Insurance scam? Performance art piece? All of the above?” side-eye at the situation, Kunty Karl is straight-up looking at Kim Kartrashian and going, “Tsk, tsk.” Karl says that Kim shouldn’t be shocked that thieves jacked her of the jewels she flashes on social media.
“It’s a very bad thing for Paris. But I don’t understand why she was in a hotel with no security … If you are that famous and you put all your jewelry on [social media], you go to hotels where nobody can come near to the room. You cannot display your wealth and then be surprised that some people want to share it with you.”
Based on those words, I am guessing that Kunty Karl has a security team of soldiers, ninjas and snipers guarding him at all times since the delicate diamond threads growing out of his nose are priceless and his “George Washington after rubbing balloons on his head” wig is worth millions. But then again, it’d be impossible for a thief to snatch Karl’s opulent wig after he lowers his glasses, stares that bitch in the eye and turns them to stone.
And here’s Kunty Karl at his show today. I also threw in pictures of guests including Lily-Rose Depp, Courtney Love, Usher, Carla Bruni and Frances Bean Cobain giving you sad hippie clown glamour.