Panty Creamer Of The Day: A Wet, Topless And Stach’d Milo Ventimiglia

October 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Because Mondays are grosser than that mocos tissue your frugal abuelita used until no clean spots were available (What? Just mine?), here’s some wet man nipples to make it a little less grosser.

Ellen DeGeneres called in sick to her show and so the producers pulled out a list of possible substitutes. Every single person, animal, plant and inanimate object on that list must’ve been busy, because they settled for Miley Cyrus. I mean, Billy Ray Cyrus’ half-eaten Taco Party Pack would’ve made a better host. But Miley’s episode wasn’t that awful and that’s solely because of the wet nipples belonging to Milo Ventimigilia. (Fun fact: Ventimiglia is Italian for “large Starbucks cup of man hotness.“)

Milo has already said that he doesn’t mind that millions of eyeballs have scooped up a piece of bare nalgas, so of course he didn’t mind taking his top off for the sake of charity on Ellen Miley. Starting at the 3:43 mark, Milo and Miley (which sounds like the name of the most annoying kid’s show on the Disney Channel) play that game where he gets half-naked and sits in a splash tank while she tries to get him wet with pink balls. Ellen gets a celebrity dude half-naked every year to raise money for breast cancer research.

And I think the cherry on top of this panty creaming sundae (Why did I write that?) is the stache that Milo’s been working for a minute, because it makes him look like the star of an early-80s porn parody of Magnum P.I. called Magnum P.I. (Penis Investigator).

Pic: Warner Bros.

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