Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 2, 2016 / Posted by:

Bigg Mixx!

Back in 1990, Kellogg’s decided that they should really find a way to turn all the cereal that fell onto their factory floors into $$$$ so they swept that shit up, poured it into a box and sold it as “Bigg Mixx.” Bigg Mixx was a mixture of some of Kellogg’s cereals, so it was kind of like what your mom fed you when she forgot to go to the store. You know, she’d pour the contents of almost-empty cereal boxes into a bowl, add some watered down milk and BOOM! Breakfast.

To sell Big Mixx, Kellogg’s got Satan to inseminate himself with a cocktail of different kinds of animal jizz, and 9 months later, he butt birthed out a truly unholy creature. Bigg Mixx’s mascot, also named Bigg Mixx, was Kellogg’s version of a Chimera. He was the PuppyMonkeyBaby of his time.

Bigg Mixx was made up of wolf, moose, pig and chicken parts and galloped through the Yakima Valley looking for food. Bigg Mixx is what would sprout up from the depths of the underworld if you sacrificed the Corn Flakes Chicken, Foghorn Leghorn, Bullwinkle J. Moose, Porky Pig and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast in a Satanic ritual. Bigg Mixx was a perfect mascot of the early 90s because he was equal parts fucked-up and scary as shit.

It’s weird that the people in this commercial are just staring at Bigg Mixx and not pulling out a Super Soaker full of holy water to shoot him with. Although, that pooch with the Bobbie Culp-looking lady at the 5 second mark knows that it should be reaching for its rosary.

Mr. Breakfast says that by 1991, Bigg Mixx was pretty much gone from stores and nobody really knows what happened to its mascot. I have a feeling that Bigg Mixx bought his MD in plastic surgery online, moved to Calabasas and is working as the Kartrashians’ in-home plastic surgeon. I mean, knowing how to use different parts to create an unholy being is in Dr. Bigg Mixx’s blood!

Pic: Pinterest

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >