Motley Crue doesn’t deserve the umlaut over “Crue” when their lead singer is treating women like pull-toys. Vince Neil, 55, has pled guilty to misdemeanor battery in regards to that charming incident last April where he used a woman’s hair as a handy way to yank her ass to the ground.
Billboard reports that he submitted his plea in writing and didn’t appear in court. He has to pay a $1,000 fine, go to something called impulse control counseling, and “stay out of trouble” for six months. “Impulse control counseling” sounds like sort of a minor reprimand for portly lead singers who aren’t recognizing that the heavy metal vomit party ended around the time Nirvana’s Nevermind came out. No word yet on whether or not the victim’s lawsuit against him (she filed in July) has been settled.
At least he hasn’t been legally prohibited from hanging out with the two mega-celebrities he was with at the time of this mess. One of the more eccentric actors in Hollywood, Nicolas Cage, will luckily emerge from this incident unscathed. Nic was inexplicably accompanying Vince on the day in question and Vince was reportedly set off when the victim came up to say she was a fan of Nic and leaving out Vince’s name. It sounds like Vince’s “impulse control” issue might have a lot to do with no one looking to get inside the “Home Sweet Home” in his spandex performin‘ pants anymore.
Salma Hayek has a story about Donald Trump where he comes off as sleazy and vindictive. There’s the line, Salma. It’s pretty long. Hope you have a FastPass.
From where shall I get all of my celebrity signed off on rosé wine now? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are deep in the throes of drama-free (*chuckle*) divorcing and the next piece of their previous life together to go will be their $60 million dollar estate and vineyard in Correns, France. UsWeekly is reporting that Brad and Angie have put Château Miraval up for sale. I like to drink wine. Does anyone have $60 million on them?
While doing my post on the Obamas’ last state dinner (the one where Michelle Obama wore a stunning Ver-sayce), I did some serious investigative journalism work by reading over the guest list. My eyes were splashed with holy water (aka champagne) when I read the name: CRYSTAL CONNORS.
In my head, Cristal Connors from Showgirls is a real person who exists in this world, so I figured that some uneducated intern misspelled her name and she was at that state dinner. I pictured a diamond-encrusted Cristal Connors complimenting Michelle Obama on her gorgeous Ver-sayce, darlin’, before going off to one of the side bars to do body shots with Blake Shelton.
But that Cristal Conners wasn’t at the state dinner. There’s another Crystal Connors in this world and I don’t know much about her. I know that her man is billionaire hedge fund manager James Chanos (whose name came up in the Eliot Spitzer call girl SCANDAL) so she goes to a lot of those fancy political parties. I also know that she and bronzer are always one. But beyond that, I don’t know much and really, I don’t need to.
The only thing I really need to know is that her name is: CRYSTAL CONNORS. If you came at me and said that she was once arrested for trying to set fire to an animal shelter and she was wearing CROCs while doing so, I’d think for a minute before saying, “Okay, but her name is Crystal Connors.”
Jeff Goldblum (64)
Sofia Vassilieva (24)
Jonathan Lipnicki (26)
Zac Hanson (31)
Michael Fishman (35)
Jon Foreman (40)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (41)
Saffron Burrows (44)
Spike Jonze (47)
Jay Johnston (48)
Shelby Lynne (48)
Carlos Mencia (49)
Valeria Golino (51)
Brian Boitano (53)
Bob Odenkirk (54)
Marc Shaiman (57)
Bill Condon (61)
Deepak Chopra (69)
Jan De Bont (73)
Catherine Deneuve (73)
Tony Roberts (77)
Christopher Lloyd (78)
Derek Jacobi (78)
Cate Blanchett’s husband got papped “canoodling” with a much younger actress he works with sometimes. Either they’re just really close friends who touch a lot, or Cate and her husband keep it open, or 2016 still hasn’t gotten full from eating so many marriages and is coming for another – Lainey Gossip
Donald Glover is the young Billy Dee Williams in the latest Star Wars movie, and on a different note, how in the hell many Star Wars movies do we need as a people? – Pajiba
True story, Christina Milian is wearing the first concept design for a nun’s habit – Drunken Stepfather
Detective Obvious, Heather Dubrow, has some brand new tips on how you rich whores can keep yourselves and your jewels safe! – Reality Tea
The benevolent Posh Beckham has graciously decided to make fashions for you poor peasants – Celebitchy
It’s Friday, so get into the soft, swinging peen belonging to a British reality trick – (NSFW) OMG Blog
John Mayer is selling fancy laundry detergent for 35 damn dollars a bottle, and that would be a steal if that stuff also sanitizes twats that have been tainted by John Mayer – The Superficial
Kate Gosselin has allegedly accused Jon Gosselin of being a bad shit peddler who may have an inappropriate relationship with his daughter – WWTDD
Jake Gyllenhaal is angry, wet and hairy in the new trailer for Nocturnal Animals – Towleroad
Justin Theroux should’ve kept that look because he’s never looked sexier – Popsugar
This is what the new Anne of Green Gables looks like – Jezebel
Scottie Pippen is done with his wife after 19 years of marriage. Scottie’s wife was in the Real Housewives of Miami, so of course, my first question after reading about this was: But what does La Bruja think?! – HuffPo
Maria Bartiromo brought a whole lot of “Pretty Woman going to the opera” elegance to the Al Smith dinner – Hollywood Tuna
Nev Schulman and his attention whore piece brought the eye rolls with their pregnancy announcement and also with pretty much everything they did after that, so I was expecting for them to give their baby a weird name. But in a shocking plot twist, they didn’t, and I’m disappointed – Just Jared
Kendall Jenner looks like she just had a four-way with the Blue Man Group – Popoholic