Woe is Millie Clooney. The one day her humans decided to trot her out in front of the paps is the one day Amal Clooney decides to dress up like a rejected That ’70s Show extra. Millie Clooney is making the face that every little kid makes when they’re hanging out with their friends in front of the school and their mom pulls up in a dirty, bird-shit covered car with curlers in her hair and blasting some busted song. They think to themselves, “I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she does- Oh shit, she just screamed my name.”
Yes, I know that Bassett Hounds just naturally make that face, but I’d like to believe that Millie is extra embarrassed by Amal looking like she’s about to break out into I Think I Love You at any second.
George Clooney is currently directing Suburbicon in Los Angeles, and yesterday, Amal visited the set with their newest dog child Millie Clooney. This is probably going to be the last time that Amal Clooney brings Millie around the paps, because Millie easily stole the show and used her eyes to throw hate at those ugly jeans.
And really, Millie is living the life. She gets all the free tequila she wants and she doesn’t have to strain her legs by walking up stairs since she’s got a human slave named George Clooney to carry her up. I need Millie Clooney to teach me her ways.
Lady Gaga’s out there pimping her new album Joanne, which came out today, so you know what that means? It’s time for round 499 of the Gaga v. Madge bitch battle!
During a radio talk with Zane Lowe on Apple Music Beats 1 (via HuffPo), Lady Gaga’s absolute favorite subject, her being the Maxie to Madonna’s Barbie, came up and bitch didn’t like it all. Gaga looked so strained that I thought her new face was going to pop right off, fly across the table and hit Zane like a rubber pancake hitting the wall.
Benedict Cumberbatch’s new creation wasn’t the only star at the Hollywood premiere of Doctor Strange last night. Tilda Swinton, high priestess of otherworldly fashion, showed up to the premiere in this. For a movie with the word strange in the title, Tilda’s look wasn’t nearly as unusual as I was expecting. Then again, she probably decided to keep it simple (by Tilda’s standards, at least) because there’s no way she could top the strangeness of being cast as a Tibetan man. Whatever the reason, Tilda is really telling a story with her dress, and that story is of an alien pageant queen whose style inspiration comes solely from pirated transmissions of Dynasty reruns. Sadly, the Moussed Elegance wig she ordered from her planet’s version of Amazon.com didn’t arrive in time for her latest pageant.
However, she did managed to inject some weirdness into her ensemble.
The Hollywood premiere of Marvel’s
Doctor Whitewashing Doctor Strange happened last night, and Benedict Cumberbatch brought two guests: his wife Sophie Hunter and the latest CumberBaby that’s gestating in her womb right now.
And the rest of us shouted: “Um, DUH!”
During a Saint Pablo tour stop in Seattle on Wednesday night, Kanye West accused his supposed bestie Jay Z of being a very bad friend. Kanye opened the diary of his mind and read all the ways Jay Z has hurt his feelings. Jay Z let a Tidal/Apple feud come between them, Jay Z doesn’t bring Blue Ivy to play with his daughter and Jay Z didn’t come over to offer his condolences after Kim Kardashian was robbed. As it turns out, Kanye might have been exaggerating the nature of his relationship with Jay Z. According to Page Six, Jay Z sees Kanye as a work friend, and that’s about it. And after Wednesday night, he’s officially been downgraded to “Guy I sometimes pass in the hall on my way to the toilet.”
Brad Pitt Isn’t Responding To Angelina Jolie’s Divorce Petition Because He Doesn’t Want To Cause Drama
Brad Pitt had a deadline to respond to the divorce papers Angelina Jolie filed a month ago. That deadline was Wednesday, the same say Brad finally had some therapist-supervised one-on-one time with Maddox. Brad Pitt missed that deadline, but it’s not because he went home after his visit, cracked a 6-pack of Keystone, and fell asleep during a Love At First Swipe marathon on the couch. TMZ says Brad missed that deadline on purpose, because he has no plans to ever file a legal response.