Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 27, 2016 / Posted by:

Howard Dean, the former Governor of Vermont, 2004 presidential candidate, expert yeeeeeaaaaahowler and my personal MVP of last night’s battle-to-the-death presidential showdown.

If you watched all of last night’s first presidential debate, then you are probably reading this while laid up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning and patiently waiting for a surgeon to roll you into the operating room, cut you open, pull out your liver and ring out all the booze you guzzled down to deal with that mess. Donald Trump seemed to hold it together for approximately 45 seconds, but after taking a couple of baits dropped by Hillary Clinton, he turned into a  fidgety Sniffleupagus and acted like a nervous teenager at the family dinner table who just snorted coke for the first time but was trying to look like he didn’t just snort coke for the first time. The twitchy and leaky tanning bed-burnt ass blister blamed his sniffle-fest on the mic. To which Howard Dean probably said, “Your mic was a coke dealer?!”

Before Trump name-checked Howard Stern and continued to show us that he’s got a chronic obsession with Rosie O’Donnell by slamming her ass again, Howard Dean tweeted his theory on why the corroded circus peanut kept sniffling. Joyce Beatty must have handed the “No Fucks To Give” baton to Howard Dean before he tweeted this:

Yup, it’s been official, but now it’s really official: if this category 10 shit storm of an election had end credits, in its end credits would be the words: Executive Produced By Andy Cohen. I expected Howard Dean to go total Real Housewives by @ing Trump and tweeting, “At least I don’t snort coke in the bathroom all night long, BITCH!” I, for one, cannot wait for the election reunion when Trump tries to throw his drink at Howard Dean as Chris Christie holds him back.

And because it had to be done, someone made a supercut of Trump’s sniffa-palooza:

You know, if you close your eyes, that video does sound like “scenes from Lindsay Lohan’s room at the Chateau Marmont.”

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