Poor Tom Hiddleston, Upstaged By A Bunch Of Blond Bitches

September 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Tom Hiddleston may have almost collapsed his lungs when he breathed out a cyclone of relief after his contract with Taylor Swift expired, but well, he once again found himself getting upstaged in a picture by a blond bitch. Tom knows it too. If that isn’t a “Fuck me, this again” face, I don’t know what is.

Even though those luxurious Afghan hounds and their A+++ “like you just stepped out of a salon” hair game are stealing the focus of that picture without even trying, Tom Hiddleston is technically supposed to be the star of this campaign for Gucci’s Cruise 2017 tailoring collection. It looks like after those hilarious JCPenney chonies pictures came out, Tom didn’t figure out that if he’s going to keep modeling, he needs to take a crash course at Barbizon. Because¬†Old Navy mannequins have more life in their eyes than he does in these pictures. Tom looks like a mixture of constipated, scared and sad. It’s like he’s suffering from the hard shits while watching Where The Red Fern Grows¬†as someone holds a gun to his head.

Those model dogs (names: Kendog Jenner, Miranda Furr, Grrrrrsele Bundchen) are true professionals, because they’re serving up FACE, glamour and charisma while working with an amateur like Tom Hiddleston. But then again, they probably don’t care that they’re working with a dude who models like a ventroliquist’s dummy, because they’re getting paid a lot. And yes, I assume that they don’t get out of their dog beds for less than 10,000 Milk-Bones a day.

And here’s more pictures from Gucci’s Cruise campaign starring three impeccable bitches (and Tom Hiddleston.) I’m going to need Prince George to throw a look of royal hate at Tom’s tragic white socks and those Mary Janes. Mary Janes are Prince George’s thing!

Pics: Glenn Luchford/Gucci

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