Open Post: Hosted By Two Monkeys Having Sex On A Guy’s Head

September 24, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s just like that old saying goes: some days you’re the got-to-have it monkey doing it on a human’s head, some days you’re the human they’re doing it on.

This seems like the kind of story that should be coming out of Florida and accompanied by a picture of a dude in a gift shop buying a shirt that says “I Got Humped On at Horny Monkey World“, but it’s actually from India. According to The Daily Mail, this accidental act of primate love happened at an Indian monkey sanctuary. A cute bearded tourist decided he really wanted a monkey crawling all over him, so he lured it up there with a piece of fruit. Not too long after, another monkey decides to hop on up. But that second monkey wasn’t interested in fruit; that second monkey wanted to get down with the first monkey. Second monkey didn’t even set the mood first with some sensual banana-scented candles, he just got right to humping. And it all happened on cute bearded tourist’s head and shoulders. Ironically, that could also be the name of the shampoo he used to scrub all the monkey jizz out of his hair after they were done.

I don’t feel too bad for that human; I’m sure having two animals get busy on you your head is a sign of good luck somewhere. The creature I feel most badly for is that first monkey. There she is, trying to enjoy her fruit in peace, and that second monkey jumps in like “Hey babe, let’s do this.” Jesus, at least let her finish her dinner first!

(via Death and Taxes)

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