Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Zeke Smith from Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X! 

Survivor started up against last night, and at the beginning of the episode, Jeff Probst welcomed the cast to the 33rd season. 33 SEASONS. I have watched every single season, which means I’ve watched hundreds upon hundreds of episodes, which means I’ve spent hundreds upon hundreds of hours watching Survivor, which means I have something to say if anyone ever asks me what I’m most proud of in life. I now get to say, “Well, I’m glad you asked that. I’m most proud of the fact that I have spent hundreds of hours watching Survivor. I’ll give you a second to recover from the overcoming emotion of impressiveness you’re currently feeling.

For the 33rd season of Survivor (33, seriously!), they pit Millennials against Gen Xers, so basically it’s whiny young bitches vs. bitter old bitches. Going in, I really thought that my favorite cast member would be a Gen Xer, but my favorite so far is a Millennial who doesn’t really think he’s a Millennial. You won’t find him trying to make an iPhone out of a coconut after he finds himself severely strung out from not being able to Snapchat.

Zeke Smith is a Brooklyn hipster who works as an “asset manager” and said that he doesn’t think of himself as a Millennial. If Survivor did a season of Baby Boomers v. Traditionalists, he’d be all about it and would be on the Traditionalist tribe since there’s an 80-year-old grandpa trapped inside of his body. But even though Zeke felt like an outcast in his tribe of Pokemon Go-addicted children, he ended up being one of the leaders and got shit done.

Zeke isn’t only the most likable one for me, he’s also the one whose hot style caused a cyclone (it really did). Zeke’s look is young Nathan Lane as Robin Williams’ character in The Birdcage. His look is also young John Candy as Magnum P.I. Zeke’s Instagram profile tells me that he’s a writer and comedian, and I also hope he’s an actor, because I want to see his 80s-looking self as the wacky uncle on the second season of Stranger Things.

Here’s to Zeke lasting a while and here’s to Zeke making styling shears out of bamboo so he can maintain that A+ stache situation.

Pic: CBS

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