Some Source Says That Marion Cotillard Would Like To Be Excluded From This Narrative

Nearly right after TMZ reported that Angelina Jolie took a machete to Brangelina because the demon weed turns Brad Pitt into a mean daddy, Page Six shook their head NO to that claim. Page Six said that St. Angie hired a private investigator to follow Brad around while he shot the movie Allied in London earlier this year, and when the PI put a magnifying glass over his dick, they found poonaise sauce that came from the chocha of his co-star Marion Cotillard! Page Six’s source that Brad humping on Marion is what broke Brangie. But everyone from TMZ to People and beyond said that wasn’t so and Angie doesn’t have to awkwardly welcome her husband’s side piece to the IHA (International Homewreckers Association) because her divorce filing wasn’t brought on by cheating. The Daily Mail spoke to some source who says that it’s not true and Marion is probably devastated over being wrongly dragged into that messy situation and mislabeled as a maison dépanneuse (that’s Google French for “home wrecker.”)

The Daily Mail says their source is close to Marion’s family in Paris (aka an intern with a friend who’s got a cousin named Marianne in Montreal, close enough!). Their source says that Marion is happily living her life with her man of 9 years Guillaume Canet and their 5-year-old son and wouldn’t want anything to do with the Brangie messiness:

“Marion and Guillaume are blissfully happy, and these kind of claims are not what Marion wants to be hearing,. Claims that she’s cheating on Guillaume with Brad will leave her absolutely devastated. This doesn’t sound like her at all. She enjoys her family time and wants to enjoy more of it. All this fuss will be a huge shock to her.’”

Marion hasn’t said anything about the affair rumor.

On top of that, Marion is possibly pregnant. The French tabloid Closer shouted “Enceinte!” from their cover along with a picture of Marion wearing what looks like maternity coolots (I know that’s not how it’s spelled, but I’m trash so just let me):

Marion en couverture de Closer pic.twitter.com/1Krazt4g5P

— Marion Cotillard ♡ (@MarionNewsFR) September 16, 2016

Marion has also been wearing bump-covering clothes like the leather garment bag she’s wearing in the header picture. If Marion has a baby growing in her body, we don’t know how far along she is (Hollywood Life says four months), but many are still throwing a squint at the timeline. Marion shot Allied with Brad from February 2016 to at least May. Allied comes out on November 23, so that promo tour is going to be really damn interesting. Since those crafty bitches in Paramount’s marketing department already milked the rumors by releasing the newest Allied trailer yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if during a press conference for the movie, Maury suddenly pops up with a cotton swab, a tech from a prenatal paternity test lab and a sly smile.

Here’s Marion outside of a radio station in Paris a few days ago:

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty