“Did you just fart in your space suit? So did I! God, we’re so relatable.” I don’t know if that’s an actual line of dialogue in Passengers, but I’m assuming so. How can it not be? It would be illegal to put both Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in a movie about space and not have them yuk-it-up over farts, anti-gravity space poops, and freeze-dried pizza burps.
The official trailer for the space thriller Passengers was released earlier today, and it starts out like how you’d think a movie starring JLaw and Andy Dwyer would. He gets his little robot pal to ask her out on a space date. And then they go to a fancy spaceship bar and crack jokes to their robot bartenderd Michael Sheen.
Sadly, they don’t follow that up by doing body shots off each other and drunkenly space-twerking to the Space Jam theme. Passengers is about some trouble that happens on the spaceship they’re supposed to be hibernating in for 120 years. JLaw and Chris Pratt wake up 90 years early and are like “Fuck, fuck, fuck we’re supposed to be asleep!” Then shit goes down. It looks like Interstellar meets WALL-E meets Vanity Fair’s annual Hollywood Issue meets an ANTM photo shoot.
I think the scariest thing that happens to them is when Michael Sheenbot malfunctions at the 1:40 mark. I legit gasped and touched by chest. Who will mix their space cocktails?!? And don’t tell me booze isn’t their first priority during all that outer space messiness. I refuse to believe that. If my ship was going full-HAL 9000, you better believe I’d be heading straight for the bar.
Here’s one-half of the hottest Passengers space exploration has ever seen at the premiere of The Magnificent Seven in New York yesterday.