The Brighton Belles!
In honor of the Emmys happening tonight, let’s pay tribute to a show that would’ve found itself covered in Emmy trophies if it aired in the US. And by that I mean everyone would’ve thrown heavy objects, including trophies, at it to make it go away. America has redone a British show and made it worse time and time again, and in 1993, Britain decided that two can play at that game. After multiple-Emmy winner The Golden Girls (aka the greatest show that has ever existed in history) ended in 1992, ITV in the UK decided to keep it alive by doing a British version of it.
The storyline was a total copy + paste of The Golden Girls’ storyline. Bridget (the blondie in white on the left) was a hot slutty widow who decides to rent out rooms in her country house in Brighton. Annie (the blondie in yellow on the right), a sweet dum-dum, and Frances (the miniature Bea Arthur impersonator in the back), a tower of sarcasm, respond to Bridget’s ad and move in. Frances’ mom Josephine (the memaw in the middle who’s dressed like a member of a senior citizen TLC cover group) later moves in and fucks with her daughter’s nerves. It starred Sheila Gish as Bridget, Wendy Craig as Annie, Sheila Hancock as Frances and Jean Boht as Josephine. ITV called it Brighton Belles, but they should have called it The Gold-Plated Girls, because it was a cheap copy and a major flop.
The reviews I read about this show say that no new scripts were written. They just recycled scripts from The Golden Girls and threw in a “bollocks” and a “pip pip” and a “todger” here and there. It’s not like anybody in the UK didn’t know what The Golden Girls was. It had already played there and was a hit. So Brighton Belles came off like a bad senior center theater production of The Golden Girls. It premiered in 2013 and did so bad in the ratings, that it was canceled halfway through its 11 episode run.
A bad senior center theater production of The Golden Girls sounds like my kind of show, but sadly I couldn’t find any episodes anywhere. Someone did post the show’s opening on YouTube. I’m disappointed that they didn’t do a cover of Thank You For Being A Friend called Cheers For Being A Mate, Guvnah!
Based on that intro, Brighton Belles looks like a travesty and I’m surprised America didn’t declare war on THE QUEEN for this shit. But seriously, I want to binge watch the entire thing. I mean, a show where four old broads share some spotted dick can’t be that bad, right? And yes, in my dumb American brain, spotted dick is the cheesecake of England.