Hot Slut Of The Day!
Diego, the 100-year-old tortoise who just can’t get enough tortoise puss and has saved his own species by raw dogging hundreds of ladies!
The testes of Jim Bob Duggar, DMX, Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy and El DeBarge must be feeling inadequate and lazy as hell today, because while they are so fertile that they can knock a trick up just by looking at her, they have nothing on Diego. Phys.org reports that Diego’s native land is Espanola in the Galapagos, but sometime in the 1930s, he was moved to the San Diego Zoo where he lived for three decades. When the population of his kind, the Chelonoidis Hoodensis tortoises, were on the verge of extinction, he was brought back to the Galapagos to make some babies, which he did. And how! It’s estimated that 800 tortoises call him daddy.
Diego lives at a tortoise breeding center on Santa Cruz Island in the Galapagos, and he basically owns that bitch. Fifty years ago, there were only two males and twelve females of Diego’s kind. Today, at least 2,000 of Diego’s kind have been released into the wild. Washington Tapia, a tortoise preservation specialist at Galapagos National Park, believes that Diego co-produced 40% of those tortoises. Ole’ bareback tortoise daddy fucked them out of extinction!
“He’s a very sexually active male reproducer. He’s contributed enormously to repopulating the island. We did a genetic study and we discovered that he was the father of nearly 40 percent of the offspring released into the wild on Espanola.”
CNN adds that even though Diego’s tortoise peen has saved the world (the world of Chelonoidis Hoodensis tortoises, anyway), he’s not the biggest baby-making man slut of his kind. An unnamed tortoise (cut to Larry King winking) has fathered twice as many torto-kids as Diego.
CNN also says that the tortoise ladies are the ones who choose their sex partner, and she lets him know that she’s DTM (down to mate) by sticking out her tail. So, many of them have taken one look at Diego’s crooked banana lips and immediately got a tortoise lady boner. Git it, Diego, and keep fucking that chicken tortoise until you beat that nameless tortoise daddy’s record.
And here’s Diego going off to make himself another baby.
DMX and Mel really are jealous of Diego, because he gets to have all the bareback fun times he wants and he doesn’t have to worry about a pesky thing called “child support payments.”
Pics: Getty/AFP