Shailene Woodley’s Solution To Teen Pregnancy: Masturbation Ed.

September 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Shailene Woodley has a movie to promote (a real movie, right Shailene?), which means it’s time for more vaguely-holistic wisdom. Shailene has taught us many things over the years like the importance of feeding your vagina Vitamin D – the real kind, not the other more-fun kind. She’s talking about vaginas again, and if you can believe it, her advice falls pretty low on the Shailene Scale of Nonsense (I’m looking at you, eating clay).

Shailene recently spoke to Net-a-Porter’s The Edit to promote Snowden and she talked about Snowden-y things, like social justice. That led her to talking about sex education, a topic Shailene has feelings about. She thinks sex-ed classes should include lessons on rubbing one out, if only to prevent unplanned pregnancies and STDs.

“As a young woman you don’t learn how to pleasure yourself, you don’t learn what an orgasm should be, you don’t learn that you should have feelings of satisfaction. I’ve always had a dream of making a book called There’s No Right Way to Masturbate. If masturbation were taught in school, I wonder how [many] fewer people would get herpes aged 16, or pregnant at 14?”

There’s no right way, but there are definitely many wrong ways. Like maybe don’t use anything that could potentially pinch off part of your vag. That old plug-in Lady Remington in the back of the bathroom cupboard may look fun, but it’s an emergency room trip just waiting to happen.

I get what she’s saying. All we ever learned at my school was periods, boners, and that my teacher pronounced them “con-DAMS.” At the very least, teaching girls about that kind of stuff would cut down on the number of lunchtime rumors about some horny girl who got a carrot stuck in her vagine. Lesson 1: Don’t use carrots!

Shailene also had some thoughts about Hollywood. One would think a free spirit faux-hippie like Shailene would fit right in in Hollywood. You would be wrong. Shailene is totally an outsider.

“I have a hard time having political conversations in Hollywood. Most people there are so privileged, they don’t see the 99% of America, because they don’t have to. It’s hard for people like that to see another perspective.”

“The environment is incredibly unhealthy – women get a little skinnier, a little blonder, their lips get fuller, and it’s not a stereotype, it’s real, and it’s because there’s a mold they’re told they have to fit in order to stay relevant.”

Shailene’s Divergent co-star Miles Teller just read that last part and was like “Get a little blonder? Did she just come for me?

Because Net-a-Porter is all about selling clothes, here’s a whole bunch of pictures of Shailene modeling some expensive denims for The Edit. Shailene is clearly as unique as she thinks she is; I don’t know anyone that can tolerate lying on a bed in jeans.

Pics: Victor Demarchelier/The Edit

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