Seen above on the right: the best bunk bed.
It’s September, which means there are tons of students who have just moved in their first shared college dorm. As anyone who did college knows, your roommate situation can be a real crapshoot. Sometimes you’re paired with a roommate who doesn’t care that you spend most of your time eating raw cookie dough crumbled into a giant bowl of instant butterscotch pudding while watching Jenny Jones in you underwear in a broken butterfly chair (hey Lauren!). And sometimes you’re paired with a roommate you’re convinced was conceived in the 7th layer of Hell when Satan had unprotected sex with a nightmare taking the form of a human. And sometimes when that happens, one of the roommates says “Fuck it” and tweets the emails that were sent between the roommates and we all get to suffer together.
Earlier this month, a UCLA freshman named Winnie Chen tweeted screengrabs of several email exchanges between herself and her two roommates, Ashly and Guistinna. The emails have since gone viral, because Ashly’s first email sounds like it was ghostwritten by Tracy Flick. Winnie and Guistinna received a bitch level-7 email from Ashly, who they had never even met yet, for not emailing her back. Ashly takes email response very seriously, and she demands JUSTICE. Which to Ashly means taking the top bunk (aka the good bunk) and one of the white closets, goddamn it!
My roommate that I haven’t even met… pic.twitter.com/OkJwUF8LGp
— Winnie (@miniwinnieee) September 1, 2016
Guistinna clearly took that “don’t try me” as a challenge, because she tried Ashly hard with an even-bitchier response. Winnie has since yanked the email responses from Twitter, but thankfully The Daily Mail got some screengrabs first.
Of course, Ashly slapped back. As if a person who spells their name “Ashly” would ever let it go.
Anger issues? Ticking time bomb? Starting a cunt war over emails about petty shit like bunk beds and the good closet? Sounds like a University of Maryland sorority just found its newest sister!