America’s unofficial cheerleader Taylor Swift totally just read that and developed an aggressive eye twitch. “Oh, so they’re probably going with a blonde pop star who isn’t me? Okay. Cool cool cool. This is fine, I’m fine. Someone get me a gosh-darn strawberry wine cooler NOW.” According to Billboard, there’s a very good chance that Lady Gaga will let out her art school vocals while wearing Discount Costume Warehouse couture on Super Bowl Sunday.
At this past Super Bowl, Lady Gaga dressed like a fever dream Dot from Gummo to sing the national anthem. For the next one, she may move on up to the main stage. Sources tell Billboard that Gaga is “in talks” to perform the halftime show at the 51st Super Bowl in Houston this February. The NFL apparently think that Gaga did such a good job with the national anthem, and they want to see what she’d do with a full show.
However, when Billboard asked the NFL to confirm that they wanted Gaga, a rep for the NFL played coy. They say they’ve had “many conversations” with several artists, and that they haven’t come to a decision yet as to who will do the halftime show. I’m sure one of those conversations was with Beyonce asking them for blueprints of the NRG Stadium for her choreographer. “I’m sorry, but I thought I made it very clear last year that it was now the Super Beyonce halftime show.”
I can’t even imagine what kind of over-the-top fuckery Gaga will bring if she does get that halftime show time slot. The obvious assumption is that it will be super theme-y and super gay. I really hope she fills that stage with near-lethal amounts of ass. Her ass, dancer ass, just ass ass ass all over the place. And balls. Tight ends in spandex lace-up short-shorts and gloved hands gripping balls. She’s going to have to work overtime to outdo the parade of man ass that happens during the actual game, but I have faith that she’d find a way.
Here’s Gaga at the Brandon Maxwell fashion show last night in a look I can best describe as My Little Goth Pony fantasy.