This may be the first time in maybe forever that Ryan Lochte’s dopey “Jeah, what’s happening?” face is the correct reaction to something. The 23rd season of Dancing with the Sure, Let’s Call Them Stars premiered last night. For the second time in as many months, Ryan Lochte found himself in another messy situation. Except this time, it really wasn’t his fault.
After Ryan and his partner Cheryl Burke finished their foxtrot performance, they went to collect their critiques from the judges, which weren’t great. They got the third-lowest score. Halfway through Carrie-Ann Inaba’s critique, she started shouting “Excuse me! Excuse me!” while the audience behind booed. There was also the shadow of a a quick-moving security guard. Nobody who was watching the situation at home knew what was happening, and we didn’t get an explanation before Tom Bergeron threw to commercial. As it turns out, two very angry dudes in homemade anti-Lochte t-shirts had stormed the stage. Damn, Marcia Brady’s fans don’t play! Good Morning America released the footage of them getting tackled by security.
— Good Morning America (@GMA) September 13, 2016
According to ABC, the two men have been identified as Barzeen Soroudi and Sam Sotoodeh. The LAPD tells ABC that they jumped on stage because they were upset about that gas station situation with Lochte in Rio de Janerio. Barzeen and Sam claim what Lochte did “endangered Americans.” (Note from Michael: Uh huh, more like they jumped on stage because Ryan’s Damage Control Team paid them to since that lie-telling merbro needs sympathy from the public!)
They also had a little cheering squad in the audience.
Why does this remind me of a Trump rally 🤔 pic.twitter.com/YKCwT5dirE
— DCHomos (@DCHomos) September 13, 2016
“To vote for Barzeen Soroudi and Sam Sotoodeh, dial the number for the LAPD and ask for whatever holding cell they’re currently sitting in at the Wilshire Police Station.”
ABC says that Barzeen and Sam have been charged with misdemeanor trespassing. Ryan spoke to Entertainment Tonight about the incident, and he tells them it felt like someone ripped his heart out and “tore it to shreds.” That was very nice of Ryan’s statement writer to give him some smaller words this time. “Ryan, how many times have I told you? Destavated isn’t a word. You know what? Let’s just go with a hear-ripping metaphor.”
Here’s Ryan before she show yesterday walking to his trailer with fellow contestant Jana Kramer. As far as I know, Ryan still has a girlfriend. I hope for his sake she doesn’t find any long brown hairs in his trailer, otherwise she’ll be the next person in the DWTS audience in a homemade anti-Lochte t-shirt.