Ever since Tidal’s grand launch last year, it’s been hit with shit news after shit news and it looks like it’s been living up to its name by turning out to be a disaster.
It was reported that Tidal let go of its CEO and 25 employees and later pink-slipped even more employees. It was also reported that Jay-Z was about to sue Tidal’s previous owners for inflating the number of subscribers they claimed they had. And now a business newspaper from Norway, where Tidal has offices, says that the streaming service that was supposed to drown Spotify lost millions of dollars last year. We all knew shit was probably not going to go well for Tidal when Madge put her knee on the table and sprawled herself out while signing some kind of contract during its weird launch. That was a bad, bad omen.
Dagens Naeringsliv (via Jezebel) reports that they took a very close look at the accounts of Tidal’s holding company, Aspiro AB, and discovered a $28.2 million loss last year alone. When Jay-Z gets a call from a blocked number, he automatically hits that red button, because he thinks it’s Solange calling to curse his whore ass out for something he did. But lately, he’s been hitting the red button, because payment collectors are coming at him for money. DN says that Tidal owes $438,000 in outstanding payments. They also say that nearly 1,000 independent record companies haven’t gotten a royalty payment from Tidal since January.
DN asked Tidal for an explanation for why they haven’t paid royalties to some artists, and they pointed their blaming finger at a middle man company called Phonofile. The confusing business talk via DN:
DN asked Tidal if they have paid all the bills they have received from Phonofile and whether they have delivered all the streaming figure reports that Phonofile needs to produce the bills. When confronted with the claims from Phonofile, Tidal answered as follows:
– Tidal is an artist owned platform. We pay more to all our artists including independent artist then any other service. In this case phonofile is the liaison between Tidal and hundreds of artists. Last invoice for March and April combined was received on 14th of June and paid on 28th of June. , said a spokesperson for Tidal.
In totally coincidental news, Tidal made two giant royalty payments the day after DN called their asses out.
Billboard reported back in March that Tidal hit the 3 million subscribers mark. 55 percent of subscribers pay $9.99 a month for the basic service and 45 percent pay $19.99 for the premium service.
Maybe Tidal is waiting for Apple to finally buy it so that Tim Cook and company can deal with its problems. But if not, there’s an easy way for Jay-Z to get the outstanding payments go away. The payment collectors can’t stick their noses between Jay-Z’s ass cheeks while looking for coins if they’re getting stung by an army of crazed bitch bees (crazed beetches?). All Beyonce has to do is command The Hive to attack the collectors. The Beyhive will buzzzzzzz into the phones of the collectors at all hours of the day and cover their social media accounts with bee emojis. The collectors will either willingly give up or they’ll have to give up when the buzzzzing of the Beyhive drives them insane and they have to be shuffled off to the mental ward.