The year is 2016, so there are only two reasons for why I’d writing about Nelly. Either I’m bringing you the news that Nelly called up Kelly Rowland and in a moment of weakness she agreed to record “Dilemma Pt. 2“, or it’s because he’s currently dealing with a no-money situation. It’s the second.
TMZ says that the IRS recently slapped Nelly with a $2.4 million tax lien for not paying his federal taxes. He also hasn’t been good at paying his state taxes either. Earlier this year, the state of Missouri claimed Nelly owed $113,533 in unpaid taxes from 2013, plus almost $36,000 in interest. TMZ says Nelly is working with the IRS to fix his busted money issues, but he could always used some help. Thankfully an army of Captain Save-A-Broke-Hos have come to the rescue.
According to Billboard, Nelly’s fans took to Twitter and they think they’ve got a solution to Nelly’s problems. They’ve started the hashtag #HotInHerreStreamingParty and are encouraging everyone to stream “Hot in Herre” over and over again. It’s like 2014 all over again!
pro tip: turn your phone to mute and put on “hot in herre” while you sleep tonight. 7 hours sleep = 110 plays #hotinherrestreamingparty
— jim jar-jarmusch (@bergmansbro) September 13, 2016
But why put it to mute? I thought you were supposed to be a fan. A true fan would keep it playing at full-volume all night long until they started screaming the lyrics in their sleep. And streaming one song? Come on, he owes millions of dollars. Spin has calculated that it will take almost 288 million streams to pay off his debt. You need to make a bigger dent! You should be on iTunes buying his entire catalogue of songs – yes even “Over and Over” with Tim McGraw. Not just songs either. Go buy several copies of The Longest Yard and Reach Me on DVD. Replace all your pants with Apple Bottoms.
If that doesn’t stuff enough money into Uncle Sam’s pockets, then Nelly should call up charitable angel Taylor Swift and remind her that it was very kind of him not to burst out laughing at her awkward “Hot in Herre” dance moves that time he showed up at one of her concerts. “If only there was a way you could get me back for that. Hmmm…I wonder.”