Hot Slut Of The Day!

The legendary Abominable Snow Monster from the computer game SkiFree!

Minecraft and Pokemon Go can fuck themselves (and thanks to the Pokemoan dildos, Pokemon Go can!), because back in the early-90s, we had a game with more technologically advanced graphics and next-level game play. And unlike that dumb Pokemon Go shit, we didn’t have to leave our house to play it. SkiFree was on Microsoft’s entertainment pack, which included other 16-bit wonders like Minesweeper and FreeCell. In SkiFree, you control a skier dude and take him down a never-ending slope while trying to get the best time as you avoid obstacles like trees, trees on meth (they move), rocks, dogs, snowboarders, slow skiers, chairlifts, stumps and a ginger mess from the future named Lindsay Lohan who mistakes the snow for coke and tries to snort it up. No, there’s no ginger mess from the future, but there is the Abominable Snow Monster, which is basically just two grey eggs with crooked fork limbs.

I never made it this far, because I was a shit SkiFree skier, but if you make it through your run without crashing into anything, the game doesn’t end. A human-hungry Yeti shows up to eat you. You have to keep him off your ass, and sometimes other Yetis show up. Here’s a clip of the Abominable Snow Monster in action, and it looks like a scene straight out of E!’s new show, Khloe and Kim Take Aspen.

I know, it’s wrong of me to compare the SkiFree Abominable Snow Monster to Khlozilla, because it looks more human-like and natural than any Kartrashian.