In my mind, that’s Hilaria Baldwin’s birthin’ pose and as she does it, Alec Baldwin stands on the other side of the delivery room waiting to catch their latest bundle of baby. Also in my mind, those two pooches are bracing themselves for a possible double yoga fart-queef attack.
58-year-old Alec Baldwin became somebody’s father for the fourth time yesterday. People says that in NYC last night, Alec’s second wife, 32-year-old Hilaria Baldwin, gave birth to a baby boy who I’m sure is already doing the one-handed tree pose in a crib.
Hilaria announced on Instagram that their third kid is here and they have given him the name Leonardo Ángel Charles Baldwin. Leonardo Ángel sounds like the name of my abuelita’s second favorite Spanish crooner, and it also sounds like the name of a European baron in a Jackie Collins novel, so I approve.
Strangely enough, that was Hilaria’s latest Instagram post and she still hasn’t posted a picture of herself showing off her post-birth flat stomach while doing a yoga pose in lingerie on her bathroom counter. She’s slacking!
Alec and Hilaria’s other children are 3-year-old Carmen Gabriela and 14-month-old Rafael Thomas, so you may be thinking that they’re going to try to make two more babies so that they can complete their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tribute by naming the kids Michelangelo and Donatello. But Alec told People a few months ago that his baby-making ways are probably over. So I’m going to take that to mean that he’s going to get snipped. Or maybe Alec is going to do a different birth control method that’s just as effective. Hilaria is going to help Alec put his feet over his head, so that he can yell at his balls, “Listen up, you rude, thoughtless little jizz and listen good, you better not even think of swimming anywhere near my wife’s ovary eggs. You fucking got it, you piece of shit bastards?!”
Here’s some pictures from a few days ago of Hilaria, Alec and the Original Rude Thoughtless Little Pig™ Ireland Baldwin walking around NYC.