Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Cabbage Patch Kids cereal!

The 80s were the golden era of cereal and absolutely anything that was even a little popular got its own cereal. So of course, since the Cabbage Patch Kids were the Kings of the toy stroll and people were trading their internal organs for one back then (I am 100% sure that happened), they got their own cereal in 1985. I don’t think that  Cabbage Patch Kids cereal tasted like cabbage or kids, but they did brag that it was good for children compared to the other cereals, because it was low in sugar. But what in lacked in sugar it made up for in NIGHTMARES. Cabbage Patch Kids cereal was made up of tiny little flower-shaped faces that smiled back at you as you killed them with your teeth before swallowing down butchered-up pieces of their heads.

Okay, I take back what I said about Cabbage Patch Kids cereal not being made of kids. I can’t say for sure that the souls of the Cabbage Patch Kids weren’t trapped in those crispy bits.

And as parents watched their children eat those little happy faces while sitting next to a Cabbage Patch Kid, they probably swallowed down a second serving of their breakfast (read: benzos), because you need to be medicated to deal with that scary scene so early in the morning.

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