Pita Taufatofua Is August’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

September 9, 2016 / Posted by: Michael K

Tongan taekwondo Olympian Pita Taufatofua may have left Rio without a medal, but he just won something that Michael Phelps has never won and will probably never win: Hot Slut of the Month! Now who’s the real champion, right?

Pita Taufatofua, the oiled-up Olympian from Tonga who slid his way into the hearts and hungry genitals of people everywhere, won August’s HSOTM battle. Let us all get on our knees and bow down to our greasy-nippled HSOTM ruler. Pita got 35% of the votes and he barely kept Butt & Fuchs (31%) off his tail, but he easily beat Al Roker (23%) and La Morena (11%). Pita is the first human dude HSOTM winner this year. I know, the major accolades just keep coming his way. He will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year showdown next year and he’ll go up against Ludivine the Marathon Dog, Flossie Dickey, Birdie Sanders, Margaret Miles, Zeus the bathtub-loving Siberian Husky, the Naked Rebel Sunbather of Russia and Rep. Joyce Beatty.

Thanks to everyone who voted (and a LaMorenaSideEye.jpg for everyone who didn’t vote for La Morena)!

Pic: Getty

Tags: Hot Slut of the Day

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