Giulia Salemi and Dayane Mello, the demure Italian roses who delivered devastating amounts of elegance and sophistication to the Venice Film Festival premiere of The Young Pope on Saturday!
It took over four years, but two Italian goddesses finally showed St. Angie Jolie how to really work a slit in your dress. If your dress slit isn’t cut so high that you’re threatening everyone with a view of your slit slit, then you’re doing it wrong. These two Italian models did it right at the Venice Film Festival over the weekend. While escorted by some DJ named Matteo Manzini, my new fashion icons knocked every ho to the ground when they sashayed on through in the kind of coochie-baring gown that Duchess Kate would’ve worn on her wedding day if Duchess Kate had an ounce of taste in her.
There’s not enough water in all of Europe to quench the thirst of these two dehydrated jewels and thank every god for that, because if they weren’t mega hard-up for attention, we wouldn’t have gotten several eyefuls of them redefining the meaning of “prim” while practically flashing their snatches. Because these genteel butterflies knew that camera lenses would burst and bitches would pass out if their pussy lips made an appearance, they wore some kind of thong thing that matched their dresses. But I think what really takes their looks to the upper echelons of class is their tan lines:
The premiere of The Young Pope was the perfect event to wear these modest gowns, because when you stare at that cooch curtain barely covering up their punanes, you can practically hear the voice of God screaming, “SANTO DIOS,” over all of the potent elegance wafting off of these exquisite dew drops.