Don’t worry, Silver Age of Nickelodeon fanpeople, he’s only going to jail for about four days. The 11 of you can breathe easy. On Friday, attempted Justin Bieber arch-nemesis Drake Bell accepted a plea deal for his 2015 DUI arrest. He’ll have to do 96 hours in jail. According to California law, you have to spend at least four days going #2 with very little privacy if you have a second conviction within a ten-year span. Bell received another DUI in San Diego back in 2009.
According to People, Bell failed a sobriety test in Glendale, CA in December of last year. He was pulled over for “for straddling a lane, traveling at an unsafe speed and abruptly stopping at a red light.”
Things post-Drake & Josh have been hit-or-miss for Mr. Bell. He starred in a couple of movies and looked pretty damn good in a speedo on a reality diving show. However, he declared bankruptcy in 2014, and apparently doesn’t have any buddies around to snatch his car keys out of his hand at critical moments. Also, he spent time cat-scratching at Bieber on Twitter more than once, and then tussled with the irritating shithead’s insane fans over it. That’s beneath him. That’s beneath anybody. That’s beneath your basement’s dirt floor and most puddles. That beneath…shit, nevermind.
I should add that the only thing I’ve actually seen Bell act in was this movie where he was duct-taped nude to a statue in public. I’m going to bet having to appear like that on camera was still less traumatizing than taking a smash with an audience.
UPDATE: Aaaaaand he’s already out for “good behavior.”