This election has been a bigger shit show than two speeding sewage tankers crashing into a row of over-used Port-A-Potties, and every time I make the wrong decision to watch political crap on CSPAN or CNN or whatever, I immediately give up after 10 minutes and switch to The Golden Girls. (I am forever grateful to the Hallmark Channel and TV Land for showing Golden Girls re-runs all the time, because there has to be at least ONE safe space on TV.) But last night, the election finally delivered something that is really, really relevant to my interests.
Marco Gutierrez, the co-founder of Latinos for Trump (a thing that really exists and isn’t a figment of Christopher Guest’s imagination), was on MSNBC’s All In With Chris Hayes last night to dribble out words about Jabba the Trump’s immigration plan. Marco is supposedly trying to get people to vote FOR the piece of torn-off toe corn, but he did the opposite last night. Marco warned the American public of what will happen if we don’t build that stupid wall and deport millions! If we don’t do that, you’ll get a taco truck on your corner, and you’ll get a taco truck on your corner and everyone will get a taco truck on their corner!
While typing those words, I looked out my window and didn’t see a taco truck on my corner. That filled my empty taco shell of a brain with extra meaty sadness, because I want a taco truck on my corner. Here’s the clip of Marco Gutierrez threatening us with a good (and delicious) time!
“My culture is a very dominant culture. And it’s imposing, and it’s causing problems. If you don’t do something about it, you’re gonna have taco trucks every corner.”
— All In w/Chris Hayes (@allinwithchris) September 2, 2016
Of course, that clip went everywhere and #TacoTrucksOnEveryCorner trended on Twitter.
So, what Marco is saying is that a vote for Trump is a vote against taco trucks on every corner. It took a while, but I’m glad that this election is finally getting down to the real issue: the fact that this country definitely needs more taco trucks!