In 2013, a court threw out Lindsay Lohan’s lawsuit against Pitbull for causing her “emotional distress” by spitting out the lyric “I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan” in his song Give Me Everything. Last year, a court threw out LiLo and White Oprah’s lawsuit against Fox News for saying that they do coke together. And yesterday, the New York state appeals court partook in the justice system’s favorite sport of throwing out a Lindsay Lohan lawsuit by throwing out the lawsuit she filed against the makers of Grand Theft Auto V. This may be the first time in a long time when Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been tied up in the legal system in some way. The courts must be so confused. But they shouldn’t worry, they may see her name on a lawsuit again when her lawyers sue her after she tries to pay their bill with a necklace and a coat with the security tag still attached to it.
The original Queen of Frivolous Lawsuits (sorry, Taylor Swift) sued Take-Two Interactive back in 2013, because she saw her “likeness” (and potential dollar signs) in one character in Grand Theft Auto V and in a bikini chick that was used in the ads. Lindsay believed that the character of Lacey Jonas (above), a one-time teen star who tries to dodge the paps, was based on her and said that the makers threw in camouflaged references to Mean Girls and the Chateau Marmont, which she used to terrorize. She also accused them of hiring a model (Shelby Welinder) to recreate a picture of her from 2007:
— Kotaku (@Kotaku) September 1, 2016
LiLo probably thought that Rock Star and Take-Two would just throw some money at her to make the lawsuit go away, but they didn’t. They fought it and now all she’s left with is a pile of lawyer bills.
Karen Gravano of Mob Wives also filed a lawsuit against Two-Take and she wanted $40 million for using her likeness for a character named Andrea Bottino, who she says uses her catchphrases and has the same backstory as her. The Wall Street Journal reports that Karen’s lawsuit was thrown out with LiLo’s. The panel of judges buried LiLo’s lawsuit in a shallow grave next to her career, because they say the game and characters are a work of satire:
Even if we accept plaintiffs’ contentions that the video game depictions are close enough to be considered representations of the respective plaintiffs, plaintiffs’ claims should be dismissed because this video game does not fall under the statutory definitions of “advertising” or “trade”. This video game’s unique story, characters, dialogue, and environment, combined with the player’s ability to choose how to proceed in the game, render it a work of fiction and satire.
Further, Lohan’s claim that her image was used in advertising materials for the video game should also be dismissed. The images are not of Lohan herself, but merely the avatar in the game that Lohan claims is a depiction of her (see Costanza at 255 [the “use of the character in advertising was incidental or ancillary to the permitted use[,]” and therefore was not commercial]).
LiLo reached to new dimensions of delusional with that lawsuit, but there was a part of me that wished she would’ve won or gotten a settlement. Because if she did, then I could file my own lawsuit against Take-Two. While playing one of the Grand Theft Autos once, a random on the street said to me, “You wanna fuck or what?” That is MY signature pick-up line. Every dude who has rolled his eyes at me at a gay bar knows that!
And LiLo hasn’t responded to her latest loss, but yesterday, she did try to set a tragic thirst trap for her allegedly violent Russian ex-piece by putting this on Instagram:
A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on
That picture is every layer of NOPE, but the “@terryrichardson #work” is what really brought the vom out of my eyes.
Pics: Rockstar Games/Take-Two/FameFlynet