Pamela Anderson Is Really Against Watching Porn Now

September 1, 2016 / Posted by:

All together now: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2016 is not only showing us that it’s the worst year ever, it’s also showing us that it’s the year of redefining ridiculousness. Case in point: Canadian-American sex blossom Pamela Anderson has joined forces with “celebrity rabbi” Schmuley Boteach to write an op-ed piece for The Wall Street Journal about how watching porn is destroying lives! The only thing that porn is responsible for destroying in my life is a keyboard or two, but okay.

I know, Pamela Anderson shaming tricks for watching porn. What’s next? One of the Kartrashians is going to “write” an anti-ass implant op-ed piece for their pay site? John Travolta is going to do a PSA about the dangers of wearing wigs? We can all close our eyes until 2017 because we have seen it all (but I’ll open mine here and there to watch porn).

Pamela Anderson as a regular Terry Crews is crazy in itself, but the thing that inspired her and Rabbi Schmuley to tell the public to just say no to fuck films is pretty weird too. Anthony Weiner’s latest sexting scandal is what Pamela and Rabbi Schmuley use as an example of porn ruining families. As far as everyone knows, Weiner’s problem isn’t a porn addiction. And I wouldn’t call those sad dick pics he took “porn” either. If Pammy considers that porn, then I guess she donated all the money she made from posing in Playboy last year to Helen Lovejoy’s Think Of The Children Foundation.

Pammy and Schmuley’s WSJ piece is behind a paywall and I am not going to pay for the star of Naked Souls to lecture me on watching porn, but thankfully, Jezebel and The Cut did. They focused on the dangers of watching porn. The new anti-porn crusaders write that Weiner’s sexting is an “addictive danger of pornography” and that it has eaten away at his soul:

And if anyone still doubted the devastation that porn addiction wreaks on those closest to the addict, behold the now-shattered marriage of Mr. Weiner and Huma Abedin … From our respective positions of rabbi-counselor and former Playboy model and actress, we have often warned about pornography’s corrosive effects on a man’s soul and on his ability to function as husband and, by extension, as father. This is a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness.

They go on to spit out some statistics and comparing porn addiction, which is currently not a recognized disorder, to drug addiction:

The statistics already available are terrifying. According to the data by the American Psychological Association, porn consumption rates are between 50% and 99% among men and 30% to 86% among women, with the former group often reporting less satisfactory intimate lives with their wives or girlfriends as a result of the consumption. By contrast, many female fans of pornography tend to prefer a less explicit variety, and report that it improves their sexual relationships.

Nine percent of porn users said they had tried unsuccessfully to stop—an indication of addiction that is all the more startling when you consider that the dependency rate among people who try marijuana is the same—9%—and not much higher among those who try cocaine (15%), according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information.

They also write that porn is a “public hazard” and that it’s for “losers.” They claim that porn addiction is on the rise (wink wink) thanks to the cum-covered land of sin we know and love as the internet. They say that the upcoming generation is hit with so many sexual images that they are the “crack babies of porn.” I’m about as musical as Britney Spears, but I’m about to teach myself the tambourine, so that I can start a band and call it Crack Babies of Porn.

Anybody who considers Pamela and Tommy Lee’s sex tape (which she claims she never made a dime off of) as their gateway drug to porn must be so confused right now. And after reading about how Pamela thinks porn is the devil, this loser needs to cleanse his palate by watching porn.

Pic: Playboy

 

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