Archives: September 2016

“Making A Murderer” Steven Avery Got Engaged To A Woman He’s Only Met Once

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Apparently Making A Murderer’s Steven Avery didn’t have enough on his plate. With possibly being framed and then convicted for murder, having his nephew Brendon Dassey possibly framed and then convicted for murder, being the subject of a polarizing Netflix documentary, trying to get his conviction reversed, having his former fiancee jump ship and tell the press that he was allegedly a monster who beat her, and then having his most recent fiancee end their engagement this past January. No, that wasn’t enough. He needed more drama. He has reportedly been dating Lynn Hartman for the past eight months. They met in person for the first time last week, according to the Daily Mail, and they’re now engaged.

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Lady Gaga Is Pretty Much Confirmed For The Super Bowl 51 Halftime Show

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Lady Gaga  recently spotted getting bullshit over her Jeep breaking down in the desert and staging a mini-Coachella in response, looks to be locked-in to run the halftime show during Super Bowl 51. I realize the costumes will be as out there as humanly possible. We’ll probably be able to see whatever she wears from space. But please, Stefani, keep the demin panties at home. While enduring watching the epilepsy-taunting vid for Perfect Illusion, I kept thinking I saw gap and it wasn’t the kind we know as “thigh.”

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Josh Brolin Got Married

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Former champion booze brawler and Ryan Gosling’s fake ass accent-derider Josh Brolin got married to his former assistant yesterday. UsWeekly reports that Babs Streisand’s step-son wed Kathryn Boyd in a romantic ceremony in Cashiers, North Carolina. The guests included Babs and Josh’s dad James Brolin, the newly man-bunned Bradley Cooper, and Jimmy Kimmel’s not-so-secret sidepiece Matt Damon.

Josh and Kathryn began dating in March of 2013, which was only a month after UsWeekly confirmed he and his ex-wife Diane Lane had split. In a related inquiry, does anyone know if Tom Hardy is looking to hire a new assistant? Unfortunately, I got a D in Typing For Business in high school, but I have a host of other talents that don’t require pecking away at a keyboard, if you smell what I’m stepping in.

Josh isn’t just famous for his pretty good Tommy Lee Jones impression in otherwise shitty movies with no reason for existing. He had a notorious tendency to get thwacked and engage in ridiculous (and public) slapfights. He was also arrested for spousal battery in 2004 after ex-wife Diane rang up the police to report that he allegedly hit her. She didn’t file charges and the couple’s spokesperson claimed that it was a misunderstanding and that they were embarrassed the matter went this far.

Josh checked into rehab in November of 2013. The couple were engaged in May of last year. Best of luck, you two.

In other news, it turns out that Josh looks good nekkid if you stand several feet away and he’s sitting in such a way that his thigh is presented in the best possible trailer park light.

Once upon a time, there was a dude who didn't give a… 😳🇺🇸

A photo posted by Josh Brolin (@joshbrolin) on

Pic: WENN

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Gennifer Flowers Accepted Donald Trump’s Sorta-Invite To The 1st Presidential Debate

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Deranged off-brand kreemsicle and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was obviously enraged by opponent Hillary Clinton inviting his arch-nemesis, billionaire Mark Cuban, to tomorrow night’s presidential debate. Mark will reportedly be sitting in the front row at Hofstra University. What was Donald’s response to this? He’s sort of invited one of her husband Bill Clinton’s more well-known mistresses, Gennifer Flowers, to sit in the front row as well. She accepted! Presidential Race 2016: Keeping It Classy©!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

The apple-snatching, robot-hating moose of Norway!

This video may only be as long as an elephant shrew’s uncut mouth dick, but it’s more riveting, action-filled and entertaining than all of the Transformers movies combined. The owner of a home in a suburb in Norway caught one of Lindsay Lohan’s moose cousins blatantly stealing apples from a tree in their backyard.

When a thieving ass moose is snatching your apples without permission or payment, you can deal with Bullwinkle Lohan a few ways. You can either just let them steal since we’re all in this shitty life together and apples bring happiness to a moose’s mouth. You can scare them off by blaring a Meghan Trainor song at it, but then again, it may pound its ears against the tree branches to stop the pain and then you’ll be arrested for animal cruelty. Or you can do what the Norwegian homeowner did. They sent in a robot lawnmower to scare the apple robber away. SPOILER ALERT: A moose isn’t going to let some grass-cutting robot bitch mess up its apple heist.

And here’s the answer to the age-old question: How many hoof bops from a moose does it take to stop a robot lawnmower.

I’m really going to need Michael Mann to turn that clip into a feature film.

And now we know that when the robots rise up against us, we’ll have moose kind on our side.

via Neatorama (For Carole)

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Birthday Sluts

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Heather Locklear (55)
Jansen Panettiere (22)
Donald Glover (33)
T.I. (36)
Jodie Kidd (38)
Clea DuVall (39)
Santigold (40)
Matt Hasselbeck (41)
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras (43)
Bridget Marquardt (43)
Brian Dunkleman (45)
Hal Sparks (47)
Catherine Zeta-Jones (47)
Will Smith (48)
Jason Flemyng (50)
Scottie Pippen (51)
Tate Donovan (53)
Keely Shaye Smith (53)
Aida Turturro (54)
Michael Madsen (59)
Jamie Hyneman (60)
Mark Hamill (65)
Pedro Almodóvar (67)
Cheryl Tiegs (69)
Michael Douglas (72)
Barbara Walters (87)
Christopher Reeve (1952-2004)

Pic: Getty

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