Archives: September 2016

Night Crumbs

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

RiRi presented her second collection for Puma in Paris and…..damn. I’d like to think that RiRi is majorly trolling and is cackling as idiots spend way too much money to look like Marie Antoinette if she was reincarnated as a 90s rapper who sells ecstasy on the side at raves. If RiRi is serious, then trick should really change up her usual weed strain – Lainey Gossip

Caroline Manzo is trying to be a soap mogul now – Reality Tea 

Justin Theroux’s dumbass has obviously never heard of shorts-wearing treasure Richard SimmonsCelebitchy

Kate Moss is in Dazed Magazine looking like the vampire madam of a brothel that specializes in S&M – Drunken Stepfather

Kate Hudson wants to do Brad PittThe Superficial  

Niall Horan, the one from One Direction who looks like Heat Miser’s blond son, has gone solo – Towleroad

Kim Kartrashian looks like she’s wearing a bootleg version of one of RiRi’s busted looks for Puma – Egotastic!

One good reason to get married: Tom Hanks may crash your wedding – Hollywood Tuna

I have no idea what Eva Green is wearing but I kind of like it – Popoholic

If you think it’s weird that the cast of Tim Burton’s movies are mostly white, then blame the little Asian and black kids on The Brady Bunch! It’s all THEIR fault! – Jezebel

Wonder Woman likes peen and poon, FYI – IDLYITW

Lady Gaga is 100% doing the Super Bowl halftime show and I will 100% be smoking a super super bowl to get through it – Popsugar

Johnny Depp has joined the cast of Kenneth Branagh’s remake of Murder on the Orient Express and well, at least his character dies right away  – Just Jared

Pic: Getty


St. Angie Jolie Has Hired The Real-Life Olivia Pope To Help With Her Divorce

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

People reports that Angelina Jolie is not at all fucking around and has hired Judy Smith to help clean up the splatters that landed on her image when her marriage exploded in front of everyone. Judy Smith is a fixer who inspired Shonda Rhimes to create Scandal and the character of Olivia Pope. Because St. Angie hired the real-life Olivia Pope, it looks like she may be trying to get a job with the United Nations, and in a few months, she’ll have that gig as Brad Pitt sits in a prison cell after a dead hooker is found in the trunk of his car! And if St. Angie is trying to hide something, it’ll stay forever hidden! I don’t watch Scandal (I know, I have terrible taste), but I do watch Ray Donovan and I’m assuming that Olivia Pope is kind of like Ray. And “dead hooker in the car trunk” is a total Ray Donovan move.

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Rob Kartrashian Just Had To Tell Everybody That His Sister Was His Childhood Krush

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Hot curly-topped anal swab Brody Jenner once felt like what we, the people, really needed to know is that he got a half-boner from seeing his stepsister Kim Kartrashian (see above with face #2? Or is that face #3?) naked. Now it’s Rob Kartrashian’s turn to bring the dry heaves out of us by using his mouth to shit out a pile of chunky TMI.

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Kevin Hart Is The Highest-Paid Comedian Of The Year

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Forbes has published yet another list of rich people and the money they made this year. This time they’re talking about the world’s highest-paid comedians. We already know that The Rock is 2016’s highest-paid actor, that Jennifer Lawrence is 2016’s highest-paid actress, and that Gisele Bundchen is 2016’s highest-paid model. Out of those three, The Rock made the most with $64.5 million. I thought that was a huge amount of money. As it turns out, The Rock can take his measly $64.5 million and have a seat, because Kevin Hart has him beat by a long shot.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Lifetime Version Of Justin Timberlake

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

The future Emmy-sweeping biopic of my Cheetos dust-covered dreams, Lifetime’s Britney, isn’t going to grace our television screens until 2017 and that is a long time away. (Not to mention, that if “President Trump” becomes a real thing, it’ll be a little difficult to watch Lifetime’s Britney after fire falling from the sky torches our houses and TVs.) But Lifetime has already let us know that their Britney Spears biopic will be the television event of 2017 by releasing the first picture of their Justin Timberlake. The actors must be working pro brono, because it’s obvious that Lifetime used their entire budget on that gorgeous wig. Although, that’s not hard to do since Lifetime’s budget was probably a Party City coupon and whatever change was in the ash tray of the network president’s car.

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