Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice!

Frozen concentrated juice was HSOTD back in 2014, but it deserves to be honored again, because it may soon be a thing of the past. The Wall Street Journal delivered some childhood-killing news yesterday when they reported that the frozen concentrated orange juice market is circling the drain and frozen processed OJ may soon only live in our memories. Florida gave birth to frozen concentrated OJ in the 1940s and it was mostly produced for the military, because it’s easy to ship. My mom bought frozen concentrated juice through most of my young years, because it was easy and she could buy it in bulk on the cheap. Sadly, “RIP Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice” may soon be a headline that my fingers will have to type. NOOOOoooOOOOOOj!

Frozen concentrated juice was the king of the juice game until brands coldly bragged about how their OJ was not “made from concentrate.” The beginning of the end started in the 1980s. Juice not made from concentrate began to sell more than frozen concentrated juice. Today, Americans drink 1.4 million gallons of frozen concentrated juice a month, and that’s a tiny puddle compared to the almost 20 million gallons of fresh squeezed juice that’s guzzled down in a month. The orange juice business in Florida as a whole is suffering. Nielsen reported that OJ sales in 2015 were the lowest since they started tracking sales in 2002. Because of low sales and growing diseases attacking the groves, Florida’s orange crop is projected to be the smallest in 52 years. There are just seven orange-juice processors left in the state, and just one that’s devoted to pumping out concentrated juice. The lone concentrated juice processor is also laying off 59 out of 94 employees. People just aren’t drinking OJ as much as they used to. People are mostly drinking smoothies and energy drinks. That’s crazy! What about mimosas? Do smoothies and energy drinks taste better with booze? I think no- Okay, yes they do since everything tastes better with booze, but still.

As I said in my last post about this, frozen concentrated juice is what I mostly drank when I was a kid. When my tastebuds first got a hit of fresh squeezed juice, they didn’t like what they were tasting. Fresh squeezed juice just didn’t taste natural or right to me. Fresh squeezed juice just didn’t have that delicious “filled with preservatives and sat in the freezer section of my grocery store for months” taste to it. Frozen concentrated juice was good for other things too. We’d use it to make our own 99 Cent version of an Orange Julius, and my mom never really bought us sweets, so sometimes I ate it straight out of the can with a spoon. And since my abuelita could never throw away any container, she re-used the frozen concentrated juice cans as cups, which wasn’t really sanitary, but hey, it was the 80s.

And another thing that fresh squeezed OJ can’t give us is the sweet satisfaction of not breaking the frozen cylinder as we squeeze-poop that stuff into a pitcher. This is a still show of how NOT to do it:

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Even as growns, we still need frozen orange concentrated deliciousness. If it goes away, how are we going to make Orange Dream Punch (with vodka)?!!!!

Pics: The Grocery Girls, RecipeHubs

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