“Hold It In, Don’t Poot. Don’t Poot. Oops! I Pooted….Again”

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

The last time Britney Spears performed at the MTV VMAs was during her Pink Wig Days in 2007 and her “sad stripper falling asleep against the pole in a truck stop bathroom at 9:30 on a weekday morning” performance left everyone with chunky layer of WTF on their faces. But with help from Daddy Spears’ cheese grits-covered ladle, Brit Brit has come a long way and made her triumphant return to the VMAs last night!

Beyonce’s 16-minute long LEMONADE MEDLEY EXTRAVAGANZA happened right before Britney’s comeback performance, so some said on Twitter that Brit probably said, “fudge this, y’all,” and went out the exit door and headed to T.G.I. Friday’s for some chicken fangers. How could Brit follow that up? That’s like following up the Macy’s Fourth of July fireworks spectacular with a little kid playing with a defective sparkler in the backyard. But please, Britney had nothing to worry about!

Brit’s show had mesmerizing special effects (a shadow puppet show), flawless vocals (the track didn’t skip once), next-level choreography (she did more than wave her arm) and dazzling costumes (it was nice of Erika Jayne to let Brit borrow her bedazzled Borat swimsuit outfit)! Brit Brit moved her mouth to a mash-up of her single Make Me and G-Eazy’s Me, Myself & I while performing with the slick back K-Fed. The real MVP of Brit’s performance was her mic. That mic got as much action as the lone chick at an all-gay orgy.

Uncomfortable = the end when that weasel Cry-Baby (and yes, I would) tried to get close to Brit Brit and she wanted none of that. If Brit wanted him to get out of her personal space, she should’ve sang a few lyrics live. Dude would’ve dropped his hands and passed out from the sheer shock of it all.

And here’s G-Eazy looking like a 90s pimp who buys all of his clothes from Lip Service and Brit Brit wearing a Real Housewives reunion dress.

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com, Splash

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