When it was reported that MTV was giving Kanye West 4 minutes to do whatever he wanted at the VMAs, I figured that he’d come on stage completely naked, sprawl his legs out in front of a three-way mirror and jack off to his own reflection with one hand while finger blasting his asshole with the other as he screamed his own name. And I was right! Sort of. Kanye did that in speech form.
Kanye walked out on stage and he rambled out a stream of messiness about calling Taylor Swift, the violence in Chicago, oppression, comparing himself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and his wife being a “G” (and in this case “g” stands for GiganticFameWhore). He also shouted out Amber Rose. It was like his Twitter come-to-life, and it was also like the kind of coked-up Ted Talk that makes you tell yourself to never watch a Ted Talk again. Nobody loves hearing Kanye speak (I could stop right there and it’d still be a fact) more than Kanye loves hearing Kanye speak:
And after mess, he played his video for Fade for starring Teyana Taylor. This video is Flashdance wrapped in Janet Jackson’s Pleasure Principle and covered with a thin layer of Cremaster and two thick drops of Jocelyn Wildenstein’s cat saliva.
F A D E https://t.co/IWLWpQmbfh
— K-Boogie™ (@iDntGetCurved_) August 29, 2016
That terrifying “Thundercat on human” shit is the reason why my eyes will stay wide open tonight.
And here’s Kanye with Kim who wore a dress that made her look like she’s got a 3-foot long vagina (“So what you’re saying is that her vagina looked smaller than usual.” – your ass)