It’s just like that old saying, you know? The couple who wears giant matching diamond rings together, stays together after a cellphone fight in Beverly Hills (that’s a saying, right?). Two weeks ago, Diddy and Cassie reminded everyone they were still together by getting into a messy breakup fight in a car that ended with him stealing her cellphone and her mom calling the police. It sounded like the “U” in Cassie’s “Me & U” was no longer Diddy. However, some sources were saying that nobody was planning a “Congratulations, your crotch is free!” party for Cassie or Diddy just yet, because they breakup a lot and it usually doesn’t last. Looks like the sources were right on that one.
A source tells E! News that Cassie and Diddy’s last breakup was a false alarm, and they’re back together. The source adds: “Diddy won’t ever let Cassie get away. He loves her so much.” They don’t say how Diddy won Cassie back. Diddy is rich as hell, so I’d say it probably involved sending her an ATM receipt of his checking account balance. Regardless of how it happened, Diddy decided to show Cassie how much he still loves her by throwing her a huge 30th birthday party on Friday night.
That video is blurrier than the Blair Witch’s colonoscopy footage, which really pisses me off, because I want to know what is going on with that cake. It looks like it was frosted with radioactive waste. Diddy, did you get Cassie a cake from a bakery on Krypton?
Sadly, shortly after this video was shot, Diddy got jealous and accused Cassie of looking at that cake in the wrong way, and they broke up again. That didn’t happen and I’m sure they’ll stay together for at least a few weeks. Come on, everyone who has ever gone to high school knows that the most dramatic couple waits at least a month after their last breakup before the next one. It’s called maximizing the attention/drama ratio.