RiRi is getting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV VMAs on Sunday, and so she’s performing, of course. The show’s executive producer says that RiRi’s performance will be one of those “holy crap” moments in VMAs history. Since they’re all trying to out-edgy each other at the VMAs, I’m going to assume that RiRi is literally going to crap on a crucifix during her performance. – Lainey Gossip
Jessica Alba hit the stroll in a vintage Wilson’s Leather dress circa 1990 – Egotastic!
Courtney Stodden is like the living embodiment of every TLC show at this point – The Superficial
Every one of Pimp Mama Kris’ kin says the opposite of the truth, so when Kylie Jenner said that she didn’t get a tit job, she really meant that she got a tit job – Celebitchy
A Victoria’s Secret model went topless on a yacht, and Leonardo DiCatchAHo was nowhere to be seen. Weird, I know – Drunken Stepfather
Pedro Almodovar should’ve directed Brokeback Mountain – Towleroad
The dude behind Taylor Swift just killed someone, or is about to, or both – WWTDD
Clearly, one of the paps farted in front of Vanessa Hudgens – Popoholic
Teen Mom Jenelle tried to explain the timeline of the making of her latest baby – Starcasm
Richard Branson almost died – Just Jared
Today’s lot lizard chic moment is provided by Pixie Lott – Hollywood Tuna
Wheelchair Jimmy is really coochmatized – Popsugar
My teen self who listened to Loveline religiously in the 90s is weeping over what a mess Dr. Drew is now – Jezebel
I know that today is technically National Dog Day and World Elephant Day is a long time away, but who cares, just celebrate early with these GIFs – Pajiba
Weekend programming note: J. Harvey is out on Sunday (he has to go to church, obviously), so Allison and I will be covering for him.