U.S. Soccer Is Officially Tired Of Hope Solo’s Antics

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

I would not want to be a lamp or a dinner plate or a relative in Hope Solo’s house today. The possibility that this recent news has caused her to go all “Hope SMASH!” on the nearest breakable is pretty high. The New York Times says that Hope has been suspended for six months for the tantrum she threw in Rio after Team USA was eliminated from the Olympics by Team Sweden. Hope referred to Team Sweden as “a bunch of cowards.” U.S. Soccer didn’t think that was very sportsmanlike of her, and they’ve put her ass on the bench for six months as punishment.

According to U.S. Soccer, Hope’s conduct is “counter to the organization’s principles.” They have also terminated her contract as starting goalkeeper. When her six month time-out from the women’s national team is over, there’s a chance she might be done for good. Well, unless there’s a soccer team out there called Unchecked Rage United, in which case I’m sure they’re drawing up a contract for Hope as we speak.

The president of U.S. Soccer released a statement about Hope’s soccer situation, and it reads like her suspension was a long time coming. Hope’s “cowards” crack appears to have been merely the final nail in her angry asshole coffin.

“Taking into consideration the past incidents involving Hope, as well as the private conversations we’ve had requiring her to conduct herself in a manner befitting a U.S. national team member, U.S. Soccer determined this is the appropriate disciplinary action.”

What? Calling other players cowards and making fun of the host country on Instagram isn’t good behavior? You don’t say.

Hope’s not taking her suspension and contract termination very well. Hope posted this little slap at U.S. Soccer on Instagram last night.

A photo posted by Hope Solo (@hopesolo) on

If Hope wants her job back, she’s going about it the wrong way. I’m no expert, but it’s never a good idea to proudly brag about what you got in trouble for. “Yeah I stole sixteen staplers and a jug of copier toner – it’s because I just love this job so damn much, ya dumb dicks!” Maybe this suspension will be good for Hope. It could help her transition into the next stage of her career: former athlete with anger issues who now sits in the stands taking games way too seriously and screaming obscenities at the players who gets escorted out by security after hucking a can of beer onto the field.

Pic: Instagram

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