BREAKING! There’s Been Trouble In Taylor Swift And Tom Hiddleston’s Perfect Couple Paradise

A source tells UsWeekly that the catalogue-perfect love between human-sized Royal Doulton figurine Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston might not be as perfect and wonderful as it seems. The living wedding cake toppers had a “major argument” earlier this month. Apparently Taylor had woken up at 2am one morning to a loud screeching sound coming from the kitchen and found Tom shoving his I Heart TS tank down the garbage disposal. No, that’s not the reason. The source says their fight was over Tom’s busy schedule. An insider claims that things hit a rough patch once Tom had to stop posing for paps around the world and go back to work on Thor: Ragnarok in Australia.

“There was so much going on so it was hard making their schedules work, and they were upset they couldn’t see each other.”

In case that “source” wasn’t clear enough, Taylor and Tom got into a fight because they just can’t stand the idea of being away from each other for longer than 24 hours. I guess I missed the part in James Bond’s character profile that said 007 was a Stage-5 clinger?

But you shouldn’t expect to see Taylor throwing a box of Tom’s navy zip-ups onto the lawn of her Rhode Island mansion. The source would like you to know that even though Tom is busy with filming, they’re “making it work.” Hmmmm…I wonder how they’re doing that? I’m sure it definitely doesn’t involve a two-way baby monitor hung around Tom’s neck on a I Heart TS lanyard. “Tom! Tom! Put another straw in that Diet Coke, I want to pretend we’re both drinking from it. I don’t care if Chris Hemsworth is laughing at you, JUST DO IT, TOM.”

Pic: Splash