When we last left the too-much-testosterone, chest-puffing fight between Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel, The Rock made a big show on Instagram of thanking everyone he worked with on Fast 8. Everyone except for candy ass Vin Regular Gasoline, that is! It was not exactly a smart thing to do when Vin Diesel had just threatened to expose The Rock. But it sounds like Vin Diesel has decided to stop the pettiness and be the bigger man. Not literally, of course; I’m pretty sure science would have to discover a mutated strain of HGH for either of them to get any bigger.
On Friday, Vin live-streamed another awkwardly-sensual social media video for Facebook. I was hoping this was the moment Vin was going to tell us everything (everything) about The Rock, but he didn’t. Instead, he softly stroked The Rock’s ego by complimenting his performance in the Fast & Furious films. It all happens around the 23-minute mark.
Posted by Vin Diesel on Friday, August 19, 2016
In case those soothing wind chimes put you to sleep, here’s what he said about The Rock.
“The reason we brought Dwayne Johnson into Fast 5 was because of you! There was a girl named Jan Kelly who said, ‘I would love to see you guys work together on screen.’ So the role that was initially written for Tommy Lee Jones, we gave it to Dwayne, and he shined in it.”
Tommy Lee Jones was supposed to be in the Fast & Furious movies?!? What kind of hypnotic mind powers does Vin Diesel have that he’s able to convince Academy Award-winning actors like Helen Mirren and Charlize Theron and Tommy Lee Jones to be in a movie about guys who communicate through a series of grunts while driving super-loud cars? And again, I say this as a fan of the Fast movies.
Back to that comment. As much as I want to believe there was a trace of shade in that comment, I think Vin was being sincere. But my bitch detector could be broken and he really was trying to be shady. Was saying The Rock “shined in it” Vin’s way of making a baby oil joke? In which case, Vin deserves a long, slow clap for that one.