Melania Trump Will Sue You If You Insinuate That She Once Worked As An Escort

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Thanks to her mutated pumpkin wart of a husband running for president, everyone is passing a fine-tooth comb through Melania Trump’s past. The exquisitely-crafted Slovenian crystal orchid has been accused of lying under oath about getting a bachelor’s degree (which she probably doesn’t have) and some think that she may have come into the U.S. illegally at one point. But there is one story that Melania Trump is really not having and that’s a story that implies she may have once worked as a 25 karat-covered pussy peddler.

The Daily Mail recently repeated a story from Slovenian tabloid Suzy about the NYC modeling agency that Melania was signed to in the 1990s. Suzy claims that the agency, ran by Paolo Zampolli, was a modeling agency on the outside but many of the models made most of their money from working as an escort. Suzy’s source said that the models had two composite cards: one for modeling stuff and the other for high-paid whoring stuff. Suzy wondered out loud if Melania Trump went from fucking men for money to fucking just one man for money. I mean, for love! For TRUE LOVE, of course. Did you hear that, Melania’s lawyers?!

The article added: ‘What Melania’s [composite card] looked like only the people involved know, but it is no coincidence she got a rich husband.’

This week the Mail spoke to the author of the piece, under the condition of anonymity. He insisted the seemingly fantastical story was correct, but all he would say to corroborate it was the information came from sources in America.

Paolo Z spit at the story to The Daily Mail and said that the rumor that he ran an escort agency is “rubbish.”

If anybody called me a high-class whore, I’d ask them to put that in writing so that I could frame it and hang it over my bed. It’d be the greatest compliment I’ve ever gotten. But Melania feels the opposite way. The Daily Mail says in their article that there’s no evidence that backs up Suzy’s claims, but Melania is still threatening to sue their asses. Charles Harder (heh), an attorney for Michelle Obama’s biggest fan, tells Politico that they’re going to go after the Daily Mail and other publications for sharting out drops of defaming filth on her reputation.

“Mrs. Trump has placed several news organizations on notice of her legal claims against them, including Daily Mail among others, for making false and defamatory statements about her supposedly having been an ‘escort’ in the 1990s. All such statements are 100% false, highly damaging to her reputation, and personally hurtful. She understands that news media have certain leeway in a presidential campaign, but outright lying about her in this way exceeds all bounds of appropriate news reporting and human decency.”

Charles Harder is the same lawyer who was hired by evil gay billionaire Peter Thiel to work with Hulk Hogan to take down Gawker. Gawker is currently sprawled out in a shallow grave, for now, so Peter Thiel won that battle. Now that Peter has crossed off Gawker on his hit list, maybe he’s going after The Daily Mail next. Peter is a Donald Trump supporter and said words of praise for Trump at the Republican National Convention.

If Melania Trump helps to bring down the highly-esteemed Kingdom of Literary Merit, I will never ever forgive her. If the Daily Mail went away, where else would I read about the laundry room of a Real Housewife and a trick from TOWIE pouring her curves into a tight dress?


Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >