In “this has happened before and it will happen again and again and again and again” news, the Duggars are adding another member to the family tree whose branches need to be reinforced with steel beams to hold all of them up. The expression “the sky is blue” needs to be permanently replaced by “a Duggar is pregnant,” because sometimes the sky isn’t blue, but a Duggar is almost always growing a baby in her body.
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s mission to replace China as the planet’s leading provider of humans is moving along. The Jessa model in their line of Duggar family baby ovens is currently baking their 7th grandchild. 23-year-old Jessa Duggar and her 21-year-old husband Ben Seewald became first-time parents just 9 months ago when she popped out a son they named Spurgeon Seewald. I didn’t need to tell you that since I’m sure we all remember where we were when we found out that Jessa and Ben committed child abuse by giving their kid a name that sounds what scientists call the sperm of sturgeon. Jessa and Ben announced on their site that she’ll coochie burp up their second baby sometime next year, and I’m sure you can see it all on the new season of their TLC show Counting On.
Jessa and Ben also shared a new picture of little Spurgeon:
— People Magazine (@people) August 23, 2016
Both Jessa and Ben will be struck down by a lightning bolt thrown by God if they don’t stick with the Duggar tradition of starting all of their kids’ names with the same letter. So since they went with “S,” I’m guessing that their second child will be named either Salmonella Seewald or Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Seewald. Or maybe they’ll keep it 100% real and simple by naming their baby Sorry Kid Seewald.