Hot Slut Of The Day!

Lion Dog from the Amazon Prime commercial that is melting cold hearts everywhere!

This Amazon Prime commercial from Japan has been airing here in the U.S. a lot lately, and it’s apparently made people feel again. It has made worried people run to the ER with strange symptoms like leaky eyes and warmness in the chest. Their icy carcasses haven’t felt those things in decades! When I first watched it, I thought it was a parody. Because of that song and the dog’s acting, I thought they were making fun of sappy commercials. But nope, they’re all serious.

The story is a story we’ve seen before: two humans add a baby human to their family, and suddenly, the star of the house, the dog, becomes an extra who barely gets any screen time. The dog is now the Lea Michele to that family’s Jessica Lange. The lonely and sad dog watches the family play outside, and when that pooch tries to play too, the mean ole’ baby cries in the dog’s face! That baby basically screams, “I banish you from my sight!” The rejected dog sadly shuffles away to make plans to run away to a magical doggy Shangri-La they’ve heard about called Dog Island.

In the next scene, the lonely pooch, who is the Jennifer Aniston circa 2008 of dogs, watches the family play with a lion stuffed animal, and the dad notices his furry friend looking at him like, “I thought I knew you. I hate you all.” That dog’s expression is the visual representation of an Adele song. To fix his dog’s sads, the dad uses Amazon Prime to order a lion mane wig. The dog struts out in a lion mane wig and suddenly the baby is happy, which means the dog is happy, which means the humans are happy, which means everyone is happy!

The lesson to be learned here is that if you’re a dog and your humans add a baby to the family, that baby will become the ruler of the castle and you’ll become the court jester who has to entertain your new overlord by dressing up in silly wigs. With that being said, that pooch should keep that look. That lion mane is very “Chantal Biya walking through a windstorm after getting a serious blowout.” I mean, if the dog has to humiliate themselves to make that baby happy, at least pooch looks glamorous while doing so.