DMX’s Dick Is Trying To Outdo Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Warning: Do not stare at that picture too long. DMX is so damn fertile that if you keep your eyes on that pic long enough, you may find yourself squirting out the latest member of his ever-growing child army, and no, you won’t get a child support check out of it

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have 19 kids and that might be it for them. But it looks like DMX’s weapon of mass procreation isn’t done shooting raw nuts at ovaries just yet and he may beat Jim Bob and Michelle’s record. 45-year-old DMX became somebody’s father for the 15th time (that he knows of) last Friday after his girlfriend Desiree Lindstrom gave birth to her first child and his latest in NYC. TMZ says that DMX and Desiree named their son Exodus Simmons (or as DMX is going to call him, “Um, which one are you again?“).

DMX made 4 kids with his ex-wife Tashera Simmons. They were married for 11 years and during that time, he busted a baby into side trick after side trick. He has a total of 15 kids with several baby mothers

Every time DMX jizzes out a load of baby batter, the Department of Child Support Services hires more people. X is definitely gon’ give it to ya, and by “it,” he definitely means a baby and he definitely doesn’t mean a child support payment.  Just last year, he was arrested twice for not paying child support. He was arrested for not paying Tashera $10,000 a month in child support, and also arrested for not paying child support to a different baby mother. In July 2015, a judge sentenced him to 6 months in the clink for failing to pay $400,000 worth of child support payments. He served about 2 months.

You would think that since DMX’s dick is writing checks that his ass can’t cash, he’d let Jesus (or his accountant) take the wheel and drive him to the nearest clinic to get snipped. But during an interview with the Breakfast Club in June, he said that he’s happy about being a father for the 15th time. He also said that some of his children even know each other, and he made everyone swoon themselves inside/out with his romantic description of how he chooses who to make a baby with. via Complex

Elsewhere in the interview, X discussed his feelings on expecting his 15th child. He claimed he picks who to breed with “just like a dog. I sniff the ass, I wag my tail.”

“I’m not a total piece of shit,” he went on to say, explaining that some of his kids know each other based on where they live. “I have kids in the same county. I have a few in New York, a few in L.A.”

DMX has kids in different area codes, and in the future, he’ll have a relative in every damn area code, because 95% of the population will be related to him in some way. When anyone registers on Ancestry.com, the first message they’ll get will be: FYI – One of your ancestors is probably DMX. Just getting that out of the way.

Pic: Wenn.com

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