Katt Williams is 2016’s version of Pavlov’s Dog; you see his name, and you instantly prepare yourself for the news that the pocket-sized terror has done something shitty. Let’s get into what Katt did now, shall we?
Katt Williams had a very busy week. On Wednesday, TMZ says that Katt Williams was officially charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly attacking a female employee at the Sportsman’s Lodge restaurant in Sherman Oaks last month. The detectives finally got to the bottom of The Mystery of What Set Katt Off That Night. TMZ says Katt allegedly assaulted the woman after feeling “disrespected.” He could face up to 6 months in jail if convicted.
Things got worse for Katt on Thursday. TMZ says he was sued by a former assistant named Angelina Triplett-Hill. Angelina claims Katt beat her up after flying into a rage on the set of a movie back in 2014. Angelina alleges that it all started after Katt got pissed that she took a call on set. He allegedly ripped the phone out of her hands and whipped it into a van. Angelina claims she tried to calm him down by telling him that “he’s bigger than that“, which of course was the kind of accidental shade that really set him off. According to the lawsuit, Katt struck her in the face, threw her to the ground, and knocked her unconscious. Angelina spent 3 days in the hospital, and she’s seeking $1 million for her pain and suffering.
This brings us to today. Katt got sued again, this time by the Georgia pool supply store employee he beat down back in February. TMZ says Paul Love has filed papers accusing Katt of flying into a rage after having his pool supply order cancelled twice. Katt thought it was racially motivated, but Paul says it never was never like that. Regardless, Katt ended up punching Paul in the face. Paul is especially upset about that punch because he had just underwent brain surgery only 10 weeks earlier. His doctor told him to avoid taking any blunt objects to the head during his recovery, and Katt fucked that all up. Paul Love is suing Katt for pain and damages, but doesn’t specify how much.
Surely I’m not the only one who sees that the common theme in all these stories is that they all start with Katt Williams getting lit up like an angry firecracker and exploding with rage. I don’t know if court-ordered anger management classes will be enough. Katt’s rage is going to need something much, much stronger. Like having a group of escorts accompany him at all times wearing those inflatable sumo wrestler suits. That way if they sense he’s about to lose it, they can form a tight circle and absorb Katt’s tiny fists of terror with their padded stomachs.