Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Chef Boyardee’s Tic Tac Toe pasta!

All the way back in the 1980s, Italy’s greatest export and America’s most-celebrated culinary expert Chef Boyardee (government name: Ettore Boiardi) created a spin-off to his most celebrated gourmet dish, SpaghettiOs, called Tic Tac Toe. TTTs were basically like SpaghettiOs, except they had Xs AND Os. Honestly, I never really had it for SpaghettiOs as a kid. I was much more into the mushy pillows filled with diarrhea called Chef Boyardee raviolis! (No, that ravioli description was not me admitting to being a scat queen.) Every now and again, I get nostalgic for the feeling of eating an abortion, so I’ll get a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli, and three seconds into it, I’ll drop my spoon and say, “Fuck this, I’m going to get some real pasta at Sbarro.” I know, I’m such a food snob now. What happened to me? But back to Tic Tac Toe!

What really sold TTT for me was the commercials, which played between cartoons on the weekends and weekday afternoons. Before I hit the play button on this commercial the other day, I started chanting, “Give me an X!” There were a few commercials for Tic Tac Toe’s and in this one, a boy version of Mary Lou Retton kicks, twirls and works it so hard that you’d think child-terrorizing monster Abby Lee Miller was on the side screaming, “Those jazz hands better sparkle, boy, or I’m gonna eat your family!”

I wonder what you won when you got three Xs or Os on your spoon? Probably the same thing you won if you got any other combination on your spoon: the wet shits!

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