Open Post: Hosted By Ariel Winter In Denim Panties

August 15, 2016 / Posted by:

Every time I see new pictures of 18-year-old Ariel Winter from Modern Family, she’s bringing new meaning to the name “coochie cutters,” and she totally outdid herself over the weekend when she showed up to Just Jared’s pool party wearing shorts that are so damn short we can’t really call them shorts. They’re more like jean chonies and they should come with a warning that reads: Wearing these jean chonies may cause you to queef up denim lint for days.

Ariel wore that elegant Daytona Beach spring breaker bathing suit and jean chonies with strangely conservative Louboutin heels. So from the thighs up, she’s serving “the most overdressed finalist in the Miss Juggalette 2016 pageant” and from the ankles down she’s serving “serial beige shoe-wearer St. Angie Jolie going to a meeting at the United Nations.” I was going to say that Ariel Winter looks like she’s wearing everything found in a Kylie Jenner starter pack, but I can’t say that since she’s not wearing thigh-high cage sandals and a cornrows wig, and her lips aren’t the size of two obese caterpillars in sleeping bags.

Pics: Splash

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