Rep. Joyce Beatty Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

August 12, 2016 / Posted by:

After a record turnout (not really, I’ve just always wanted to say that), you, the people, have made Joyce Beatty Dlisted’s reigning Hot Slut of the Month! The Congresswoman from Ohio earned herself a legion of shade worshippers when she showed up to the Democratic National Convention in the same exact scrunchie-sleeved dress that Melania Trump wore while saying a few of Michelle Obama’s Xeroxed words at the Republican National Convention. Joyce Beatty became our President of Petty with that move, and now she also holds the illustrious title of HSOTM! Dlisted contacted the office of Joyce Beatty for her reaction to this giant win and her assistant gave us this official statement: “Please stop calling here. We are tracing your call and the proper authorities will be visiting you.

Joyce Beatty got 46% of the votes, Beatty’ing out baton twirling master David Peters (24%), the real-life Milo & Otis named Bandito & Luigi (20%) and the Pokemoan dildos (10%). Joyce will represent July in the Hot Slut of the Year finals in January.

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: Getty

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