Amber Heard’s deposition in her divorce battle with Johnny Depp was supposed to happen last Saturday. It didn’t. Amber’s side said that she showed up and waited for nearly 10 hours for Johnny’s side to call her in and ask her questions. Johnny’s side said that Amber showed up, but she refused to be deposed and threw a tantrum. The trial was supposed to start this Monday, but a judge pushed it to next Wednesday to give more time for Amber and Johnny Depp’s depositions. Amber’s deposition was scheduled for today, but again, it didn’t happen. Like me desperately trying to find a piece of ass on a Saturday night, nothing about this situation is easy.
People says that Amber’s lawyers filed court papers asking for her depo date to be moved from today to tomorrow. The reason for the postponement is that Amber is in the homeland of Harvey Price, where she’s shooting Justice League, and claims she couldn’t get on a flight that would’ve carried her to L.A. in time for her deposition this morning. Amber’s lawyers said these words in the papers that were filed:
“To no fault of her own, Amber was unable to arrange for a flight to travel from London to Los Angeles which would arrive in Los Angeles by 10 a.m. on Friday August 12, 2016 so that she could appear for deposition on that date and time.”
Since Amber’s lawyers had the eyes of the court, they also took that time to hate on Johnny’s lawyers for saying that Amber acted like a crazy last Saturday. In the filed papers, they accused Johnny’s side of shamelessly trying to fuck with Amber’s nerves:
“Johnny’s counsel continues to wage a malicious war against Amber in the Court of Public Opinion in an effort to intimidate and discourage Amber from telling the truth. It is a disturbing shame that Johnny’s lawyers continue to pursue a relentless personal attack against Amber.”
Johnny’s deposition is scheduled for tomorrow too, but Amber’s lawyers aren’t holding their breath. They don’t think he’s going to show up, but if he does, they’d really have to hold their breath to keep from inhaling butt custard and tooth rot fumes.
I’ve pulled the “lawyer” card like twice while playing Life and that practically makes me one. So in my expert legal opinion, it looks like both sides seem to be stalling, because they’re hoping they can work out a settlement and won’t have to be deposed. When tomorrow morning rolls around, Amber will say that she watched 4 episodes of Stranger Things on the plane ride over and she has to finish it, so she’s not available. That’s a reasonable excuse, honestly. Johnny is going to say he’s getting ready to shoot The Invisible Man and he wants an Oscar this time, so he’s going Jared Leto-levels of method and must be invisible to everyone!