Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 11, 2016 / Posted by:

ORBI!

Oh, the 80s, a much, much, much more simpler time when us chirrun didn’t need a stupid phone with that stupid Pokemon Go app on it to entertain ourselves for hours. All we needed was a ball and some string. We were cats, basically. There wasn’t much to ORBI, it was a bright orange, clown nutsack-like ball attached to some plastic thing with streamers. You and your friends would throw it back and forth, and for one magical second, time would stop as you found yourself hypnotized by the neon ribbons blowing through the air like a unicorn’s luscious tail.

ORBI sometimes went really high, so I’m sure that in the 80s, many kids went to the ER with the broken bones they got from falling off of the roof of their house while trying to get the ORBI that landed up there. The sign of a good toy is one that leaves you with broken bones after playing it (see: Pogo Ball). The commercial for ORBI also takes me to places so high that not even ORBI’s streamers could reach them:

ORBI may be gone, but its spirit will forever live on with the tingles my nips get every time I see that Ian Ziering-esque piece at the 5 second mark flexing as his hot lady friend holds that ball to his hairy chest.

Pic: eBay

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